Dearest Sara,

IMG_0929

Dearest Sara,

Having not put pen to paper for quite some time, I thought I would dedicate this perfect moment to your good self.

The way you fare in life after knocking on death’s door, will be the greatest test to overcome. Simply because, better times await you.

At first, you will not understand why you survived and feel guilty for having done so. As a result, you will appreciate and cherish life, integrity, nature’s designs but most of all, each and every waking moment even more so. At times this may hurt, all because you cannot explain or stress just how precarious life or short, time, is.

Such an experience will benefit you with more wisdom, to see through people, to expand on thinking outside the box and enable you to predict consequences. To recognise better, the evil that’s out there and the many forms it takes.

People will try their best to exploit your kindness for their own gains but you will stand tall courageously and prevail. With their disdain, they will try with all their might to turn others against you. This too, will be in vain.

Whilst life does not come with any instructions, all one can do is listen to our hearts and subsequently understand, what our elders before us, wished. Since history, tends to rhyme.

There will be times when you will feel anxious, such as your precious angels embarking on a life all of their own, anticipating the familiar faces of evil they too, will inevitably encounter. Or quite simply, due to the fact that you survived not once, not twice but three times, that something is bound to happen to you because you, technically, should not be here. Yet, you are meant to be and you will come to understand why.

There will be times when you feel such anger at ghosts of past, who chose to inflict pain and heartache upon you. Alternatively, pure frustration at people’s triviality alone. You will learn, to let it go.

There will be times when you bring sincere meaning to others with just a smile from the bottom of your heart, the kindest word or two and/or gesture – you may not always know it but this will truly make their day. You will come to realise just how vital this can be to someone else, for it’ll save you also.

Grit your teeth, sit on your hands (not too often!), remain the extremely patient, honest and considerate person you are. One who is not afraid to kick ass, either.

Take it one step, one moment, one day at a time.

Not everything is or will be as it seems. You cannot stop the (sound) waves but you can learn to surf so keep on going with the flow, for it suits you so.

Be kind to yourself yet always bear it in mind, that it is okay to say no, that it is okay to be a little bit selfish. To have some “me time”.

Trust in fate since everything and everyone that happens, is predestined. In time, the answers to your many why’s will figure, in all senses.

Don’t be discouraged, don’t be unhappy and don’t be afraid to stay true to yourself, keep the faith in who you are, why you are who you are – you will be more than fine. For you are EXCEPTIONAL, more than you will ever come to realise. You may not always feel it but people do LOVE you, your feistiness even. Those around you consider themselves honoured, lucky today to still, be graced with the pleasure of YOUR company.

With the warmest of love and best wishes, on your birthday.

Your future self,

Sara xx

Ps Never underestimate the power of a written letter. 😉

Are You Ok?

“Am I ok??”

I need to stop caring about what others may think, may feel and speak my mind but then again speaking my mind and being honest is exactly what people fear and can’t handle.
It is not only what they may think but also what they could use against me. I know I shouldn’t give a toss and I need to practise that. People sometimes throw things back into my face, especially when I no longer permit them to exploit my kindness and I do notice / wise up more than I should.
I’ve been through a lot which contributes to my frustrations and anxieties yet just by saying that, people tend to think I’m making myself out to be a victim or seeking attention but they haven’t walked a mile in my shoes or survived knocking on deaths door. If they want to pass judgement on me, some friend they are?! They’ll reject me anyway simply because they are not equipped to accept me as I am or love me unconditionally.
I’ve had enough
Of people, making me feel the way I do.
Of memories, haunting me.
Such a conflicting place to be

This is why I am so grateful for so much in my life and know who not to be, who is genuine, can cherish each and every little thing.

Rant over ☺️ xxx

“Yes, I’m fine thanks.” 🤣

IMG_4513

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

 

Reviewing (on) Amazon

It seems as though one cannot be honest while posting public reviews on Amazon – as long as they look favourable. Most of the time, they have reason to be but not in this instance.

Hence posting it here.

(Please pardon any auto-corrects in initial review, i.e. ‘edit instead’ should have been ‘estimated’)

img_0378

img_0379

img_0383

Although someone managed to post their review on the very same item – one of which I could relate to 😉

img_0382

No Pain, No Gain.

While Donald Trump stays true to himself, whether his attributes are admirable or otherwise is not our problem or priority. People learn from their mistakes, even he deserves a second chance to correct himself. To some, he may be an idiot yet to others, a hero. It is very much each to their own. Deal with it.

I may not like him but I do appreciate his honesty. He is not afraid to tell things like it is whereas other Presidents, Prime Ministers and politicians tend to impersonate snakes, slithering here and there. With Donald Trump, it’s the brutal but honest truth, it may hurt you like a prick of a thorn but without pain, there is no gain.

I can only try to allay my fears that he will not start a world war by reminding myself that anyone who has not got the patience to tolerate him, is most likely to start a war instead.

All the best to Donald Trump and let us hope that he keeps his wits about him.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I May…

realfriends

“Truly honest people don’t have many friends, but they do have real friends.” ~ Steven Aitchison.

I may not have many friends who would stand by me, I may be too honest at times but at least it is the truth.

Thank you to those who do not mind me. High ten!

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

It Takes Two To Tango.

These past few weeks have been rather enlightening because I have been reminded, just how disrespectful people can be.

I do not appreciate being watched, looked down at, ignored etc and this is not only on social media either. Sadly.

Many a time I have gone out of my way to help another, to be patient with another, to be there for another yet for the respect not to be returned, is just plain rude. For them to be unwilling to accept me for who I am and the starkness of my honesty, of which contradicts the lies they spew – this can only explain their anger. Haters can go ahead and waste their precious time, hating.

If they cannot find an iota of kindness from within them to pay respect in return or make some room for you, remember that your self worth outweighs theirs by far.

I reserve the right to be comfortable in what I consider to be, MY space. If the respect and patience is not going to be returned,  then watch me walk away.

As simple as that because after all, it takes two to tango. 🙂

In order for one to be comfortable and happier, one has to be willing to lose connections with the “noise” in our lives.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

~ Alexander Den Heijer

against-the-odds

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

A Reformation In The Making

changesahead1

In this instance, I would like to request that you read until the very end as all will be revealed. I thank you for your time and patience meanwhile.

I will never forget my very first and last experience of being at Holloway Prison.

Its fortified entrance gave no clues as to what to expect, only that it was an unfeeling, antiseptic, claustrophobic place for some to call home, with steely bars for company and heavyset doors that clanged without fail much to one’s indignation. I felt watchful beady eyes being set upon me but since I could not work out specifically why, this gave me some cause for concern.

Suddenly, a closed door opened, giving way to a sense of extra space; guards cautiously checked the others through but stopped to scrutinise me. “Open your mouth” one demanded. I nervously opened my mouth. “Lift your tongue,” she sternly added whilst taking a good peek. “Move your tongue from side to side” I made sure to do as I was told right there and then, after all I had nothing to hide. Quite literally too, which registered and explained the eagle eyes.

Scores of tables with chairs on either side soon filled the room with babbling inmates. Whilst patiently parked, I remained lost for words, unable to anticipate still, what was yet to come.

In looking around hesitatingly for a friendly face, one finally appeared much to my relief, a sense of familiarity overcame me and in her happiness, she rushed over.

As we sat, I studied her face to see how she was, not knowing when we would be able to see one another again, not knowing when our quality time together would end, however short and sweet it was meant to be.

When at once her face dropped, our time together had come to cease. She put on a brave face having got up first to say her goodbye’s but as she turned to leave, she placed her hands over her face – her immensely emotive tears could no longer be suppressed.

I duly felt her pain and once more, I was rendered speechless and lost, not knowing where to go or what to do next. I understood right there and then, such the consequences of breaking the law.

Except… I was free to go, home, and do as I wished whereas she could not. For the rest of that particular day, I was unusually reflective, quiet and appreciative of all the surrounding home comforts but perhaps most of all, the sense of being free; to be the best a person could strive to be.

In order to get the best we deserve, we have to give our best otherwise; we deserve whatever we give.

This is why my friends, one should always read until the very end before judging a book by its cover (a person) on the introduction (appearances) alone as not to jump to any conclusions thus refraining from making any potentially dangerous assumptions…

Do not be afraid of or to change… 🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Keep Calm And Yield

rightofway

I encountered today yet another degree of selfishness. I cannot fathom how people seem to believe they have right of way on what is surely, a shared public pavement…

My daughter and I were waiting to meet someone and I decided to put a piece of scrap paper from my coat pocket into a bin, which we made our way towards. Job done, checked that my daughter was okay yet this old lady decided to have a right go at me some fifteen seconds later.

“Did you not hear me walking behind you – you just walked right across my path”.

Cue one jaw dropping moment.

“I’m sorry, I was just putting some rubbish into the bin”  I answered, feeling rather astonished…I really did not see any one else in the immediate vicinity except at the bus stop otherwise I would have yielded. Giving is better than taking, is it not?

She completely snubbed me and proceeded to the bus stop where she continued to moan about me right in front of my very eyes to innocent bystanders. I could not swallow how impudent she dared to be. I decided not to permit her to be so spiteful so calmly walked over to her; reminding her that I was putting something into the bin. Should I have thrown rubbish onto the ground instead? She looked surprised to see me standing my ground to an elder like herself, who are usually extremely set in their ways, who in addition had the audacity to brush me aside, waving me away.

An innocent bystander realised I was deaf and informed her of my predicament, hence why I did not hear her. Besides, she was only petite, not some stomping great giant. Bless this bystander and her cottons.

Upon seeing how she waved me away as if I were some pauper, I decided to give her one last injection of my feistiness, “You may think I am the one being rude when it is actually you, who is being so rude.” Relatively shortly after, I decided to remove my daughter away from such a display of insolence. From a short distance, we could still see her grumbling away, glancing back at us, trying to involve surrounding onlookers, which was saddening to see. My patience was being tested once more.

She expected attention under notions of grandeur and quite possibly she would have gone on to whine about me to everyone else she spoke to except they would not know the whole truth or my side of the story and this is what infuriates me so much.

Just because one may live in an area of affluence or have money, it does not give anyone the authority to be so arrogant and aloof. I sincerely hope she will think twice in future before passing any more crass remarks – not everyone will be as understanding. Caring for elderly people in the past has helped me to determine that for some of them, they know how well to manipulate situations into their favour due to their life experiences.

If I can give someone who happened to be a police detective, a piece of my mind with the greatest of respect for valid reasons, no one else gets treated any differently just because of who they may be, where they may come from or who they may know since it is all irrelevant. No one is all that.

A fact – arrogance renders people ignorant.

“An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with the person’s main task in life – becoming a better person.” – Leo Tolstoy.

Keep calm and yield – within reason. For the giving (upper) hand is better than the taking (lower) hand.

Be a lover, not a fighter. 😉

~ SJ (Sara Jae)