Dearest Sara,

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Dearest Sara,

Having not put pen to paper for quite some time, I thought I would dedicate this perfect moment to your good self.

The way you fare in life after knocking on death’s door, will be the greatest test to overcome. Simply because, better times await you.

At first, you will not understand why you survived and feel guilty for having done so. As a result, you will appreciate and cherish life, integrity, nature’s designs but most of all, each and every waking moment even more so. At times this may hurt, all because you cannot explain or stress just how precarious life or short, time, is.

Such an experience will benefit you with more wisdom, to see through people, to expand on thinking outside the box and enable you to predict consequences. To recognise better, the evil that’s out there and the many forms it takes.

People will try their best to exploit your kindness for their own gains but you will stand tall courageously and prevail. With their disdain, they will try with all their might to turn others against you. This too, will be in vain.

Whilst life does not come with any instructions, all one can do is listen to our hearts and subsequently understand, what our elders before us, wished. Since history, tends to rhyme.

There will be times when you will feel anxious, such as your precious angels embarking on a life all of their own, anticipating the familiar faces of evil they too, will inevitably encounter. Or quite simply, due to the fact that you survived not once, not twice but three times, that something is bound to happen to you because you, technically, should not be here. Yet, you are meant to be and you will come to understand why.

There will be times when you feel such anger at ghosts of past, who chose to inflict pain and heartache upon you. Alternatively, pure frustration at people’s triviality alone. You will learn, to let it go.

There will be times when you bring sincere meaning to others with just a smile from the bottom of your heart, the kindest word or two and/or gesture – you may not always know it but this will truly make their day. You will come to realise just how vital this can be to someone else, for it’ll save you also.

Grit your teeth, sit on your hands (not too often!), remain the extremely patient, honest and considerate person you are. One who is not afraid to kick ass, either.

Take it one step, one moment, one day at a time.

Not everything is or will be as it seems. You cannot stop the (sound) waves but you can learn to surf so keep on going with the flow, for it suits you so.

Be kind to yourself yet always bear it in mind, that it is okay to say no, that it is okay to be a little bit selfish. To have some “me time”.

Trust in fate since everything and everyone that happens, is predestined. In time, the answers to your many why’s will figure, in all senses.

Don’t be discouraged, don’t be unhappy and don’t be afraid to stay true to yourself, keep the faith in who you are, why you are who you are – you will be more than fine. For you are EXCEPTIONAL, more than you will ever come to realise. You may not always feel it but people do LOVE you, your feistiness even. Those around you consider themselves honoured, lucky today to still, be graced with the pleasure of YOUR company.

With the warmest of love and best wishes, on your birthday.

Your future self,

Sara xx

Ps Never underestimate the power of a written letter. šŸ˜‰

Beauty Comes From Within…

beautycomesfromwithin

Many people tend to be taken back by a personā€™s beauty but they never seem to stop to remember that oneā€™s beauty may only be skin deep. They simply momentarily pause, to admire. To lust.

Whether they entertainĀ their lust, is their conscious choice only of which, defines who they are.

Those, whom may have experienced life in such unimaginable depths, would naturally turn away from any displays of affection. Surrounded by an invisible fortress, they feel much safer in guarding their hearts.

There is sadness behind our eyes, old souls in our young bodies and shattered hearts, which have been delicately put back together. However, because of our life experiences, we would not wish to see others hurt in the same manner so much so we tend to extend our tired hands just to help them back up again.

I wish people would take the time to see past behind my smile, my eyes and my body to see and know the real me. To believe in me.

Someone, who once told me, had allowed themselves to dream. Except…

I am not a fantasy but a reality; I am not an object but a being.

I am me, whose beauty, comes from within.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

It Takes Two To Tango.

These past few weeks have been rather enlightening because I have been reminded, just how disrespectful people can be.

I do not appreciate being watched, looked down at, ignored etc and this is not only on social media either. Sadly.

Many a time I have gone out of my way to help another, to be patient with another, to be there for another yet for the respect not to be returned, is just plain rude. For them to be unwilling to accept me for who I am and the starkness of my honesty, of which contradicts the lies they spew – this can only explain their anger. Haters can go ahead and waste their precious time, hating.

If they cannot find an iota of kindness from within them to pay respect in return or make some room for you, remember that your self worth outweighs theirs by far.

I reserve the right to be comfortable in what I consider to be, MY space. If the respect and patience is not going to be returned, Ā then watch me walk away.

As simple as that because after all, it takes two to tango. šŸ™‚

In order for one to be comfortable and happier, one has to be willing to lose connections with the “noise” in our lives.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

~ Alexander Den Heijer

against-the-odds

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Where Would It All End?

An extremely thorny subject for me to discuss however, I want to try to help warn girls out there against those who may try to use such tactics,that are basically, forms of sexual exploitation.

What I find most disturbing is that this form of sexual exploitation can occur at any age but perhaps the younger they are, the more vulnerable. However, adults are victims too, without realising it.

How many times has a person be it a friend or online asked you for a photo of yourself? This is otherwise known as ā€˜Sextingā€™. They will send you a photo of themselves, and pester you for a photo of yourself. You refuse to send one yet the pressure increases in their coercion tactics because they have sent you several and declare it is only fair you send them one in return. One fully clothed innocent photo will only give way to the next, and the next, and the nextā€¦ They see their chance in this test of theirs and seize that path in exploiting you further. Where would it all end?

They ask to meet up with you, make you their best friend, their rock. Tell you they like you and make the first move, engineering a sense of love and happiness. Despite your being so guarded due to past experiences and fears of being hurt yet againā€“ they realise this and reassure you they are not like that, tricking you into bringing down your defensive walls. They eventually enter your heart with their charms and constant attention. The intimacy isĀ graduallyĀ gearedĀ up, making you believe it is all consensual. Any doubts are swayed by illusions and their desire to control and dominate you. They may expect favours or sex in return, without you having any immediate recognition. Except, onceĀ they are satisfied and no longer have any need for you, their true colours are shown.

Where would it all end? I ask once more. In heartbreak, of course but the worst kind ever. Weighed down even more so by the losses of confidence, appetites, faith, trust and heightened fear of people – especially those in authority. Depression, withdrawal and mood swings. Disliking shows of affection or invasions of personal space such as being hugged or touched once more, simply because they cannot handle it – it becomes too much. Loss of sleep and/or nightmares. Increasing levels of frustrations and resistance – people are kept at a distance and a degree of aggressiveness is displayed when any personal connections are attempted in order to push them further away. One may even turn to drugs, or moreĀ having had potentially their souls destroyed by being built up to mean something so special only to be trampled upon.

These are some of the warning signs associated with not just sexual exploitation and grooming but unfortunately the broader spectrum of exploitation in abuse or neglect also.

Be strong, do not be afraid to speak up or report people for their actions and the consequences of which they are responsible for. My only regret is that I let far too much time pass before I found the confidence and courage to be honest, with myself and others. I most certainly am not willing to lie or cover for any one else.

Please, keep your wits about you and guard your virtues šŸ™‚

Time is the best medicine.
Time is the best healer.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Que Sera, Sera

Time is precious yet it flies.

Soul surfing the past few days has been the desired effect upon reading a very thought-provoking book. As always, there is a balance ā€“ in everything around us. Except there is a balance amongst the people of today that has been giving me some cause for concern.

In trying to be kind always, ignoring certain traits as not to be critical, negative or be accused of anything false,Ā doing right by all has made me vulnerable toĀ certain charactersĀ of whom I am extremely grateful to. For showing me who not to beĀ or who to becomeĀ and especially, for helping me to appreciate theĀ sincere andĀ finer beings today.

Yet, why do I still feel such a noticeable degree of sadness when other peopleā€™s negativity and their undesirable characteristics is not my problem but solely theirs? Does this boil down to the fact that I cherish life so much more and know from experience just how relatively short it can be. Alternatively, because I can ascertain between what is trivial when to others such triviality is apparently their whole world? On the other hand, is it because I can sense the evilness influencing the people amongst us so relatively, feeling helpless in stopping it from taking hold of them thus the anticipated engineered situations? All of the above?

If they are so determined to be, who they are then just let them be. Their own shortcomings are ones theyĀ have to beĀ responsible for and therefore, they cannot displace their blame unto others.

Que sera, sera.

The one vitally most importantĀ fact to remember isĀ that I am no longer allowing these characters,Ā these feelings ofĀ sadnessĀ and frustrationĀ to dictate the valuable time I have left, to appreciate my loved and cherished ones in the best and righteous manner possible. For time is precious.

Positivity rules!

~ SJ (Sara Jae)