Freedom From Frustration.

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Keeping the Tree House fb group going as a wise friend put it “was a form of self defeatist self abuse.”

I have long since been locked “in an intimidated interaction.”

The damage has been done, by all those who consciously chose to target, to spread slander & manipulative lies, acted on their disdain simply because they could not succeed in playing games with me. They could not get what they wanted which was their own way and my Tree House.

The Tree House fb group is now, closed.

The website however, will remain open to view as a lot of hard work has been put into it. I thank once again, all those who willingly contributed and kindly supported.

By removing myself from the equation, mainly the negativity generated by the offenders of the deaf world, I am now free.

To be me. ☺️

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Not Worthless

I forget this sometimes and I just wanted to remind you too. Some of you have valued me and made me feel worthy. Without you knowing it, it has kept me going. Thank you. I for one, know how lucky I am to still exist after knocking on death’s door. Words cannot explain enough.

1911944_414947148640651_228177131_nCherish each and every thing, every being around you. Be happy – especially when the sun is shining!

Photo by SJ (Sara Jae)
Photo by SJ (Sara Jae)

Postitivity rules x

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

God’s Will

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The ghosts of oppressors past are haunting me so I have got up from my luxurious bed in an attempt to distract my school of thoughts. My tired head is rather missing the softness of my pillow yet the hamsters seem extremely chirpy to see me. Many a night they are left all alone in the dark to fend for themselves and run gleefully in their exercise wheels. Yes, the wheels do make a little bit of a racket but hey ho, they are happy.

Once upon a time, I was nicknamed sleeping beauty, for sleeping in all the time. Except, for a quite few years now, I can hardly ever sleep for nightmares and distressing thoughts. Ever since I was a young child, I have woken up in the night from some sort of terror or other. Sometimes, crying, screaming or shouting. I have oftentimes discovered a split lip or a bruised hand here and there from fighting out my dreams. My husband has described to me on numerous occasions how he had to try to calm me down.

My dreams only seem to cease when there are no triggers or reminders of the past or when I do not see my father for quite some time. Challenging times, people and memories just do not help.

I have some thinking to do but why can it not wait until I have had some quality sleep then I can be confident it is a well-made decision rather than following affairs of the heart.

Some people do not even know where exactly the heart is as I was shocked to discover a few years ago. Someone actually thought it was entirely in the left part of his or her chest… Erm, “no but why do you  not know this if both of your parents are nurses?” I questioned. I then explained how it is actually in the middle of the chest and it was the left side of the heart, which has the larger muscle so it ever so slightly comes into the left side of the chest… They did not want to believe me. Their problem.

Not many people also know for a fact that XX or XY chromosomes is decreed by the man’s sperm yet men dare to blame the woman for not being able to produce a desired girl or boy. Females only have XX chromosomes and it is always linked down the maternal side hence the double X’s whereas the man has both the female (X) and male (Y) chromosomes making theirs XY. If women do not have the male (Y) chromosome, how else could they produce a boy? Only with the man’s “input” if you like!

It has nothing at all to do with the moon either! You can try and be superstitious all you like except one’s fate is not up to you but God’s will which will be done. Just as it is God’s will that I put my fingers to the keyboard now in case one of you learns something from this particular post?! 😛 Que sera, sera. 

Sleep now beckons since I have succeeded in making myself chuckle, distracting and reminding myself the intrinsic beauty of mother nature and her designs, the predestination of all things bright and beautiful.

I now thank you, for your time and patience.

Zzzzzzz.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Blowing In The Wind

There was a specific time in my life when I was being tested to the max, mentally and physically. In some ways, one might say I am still recovering from being kicked whilst I was down albeit at my own pace, which is one foot at a time, one day at a time.

One of the simplest things I remember from back then, that gave me some momentary respite from all the heaviness and darkness that was in my heart and soul. I just had to take a picture of that precise moment, as a personal reminder for posterity.

Here is the photo that I took…

Photo by SJ (Sara Jae)
Photo by SJ (Sara Jae)

This reminded me, to keep on going with the flow however hard it felt to try to stay afloat because the answer one would find would be blowing in the wind.

This frozen moment in time gave me hope, a sense of purpose, and a smile once more in my heart. To try and keep remembering my favourite things but most importantly, to  remain patient and to keep the faith.

🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

“Blowin’ in the wind” song by Bob Dylan.