Expecting Parents.

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With each pregnancy I have experienced (and there have been five of them in total) I have people watched with great interest in the waiting rooms at two different maternity hospitals that I had been referred to, in the past. There have always been a good handful of nervous expectant couples,

Living in such a diverse community, there have also been those who cannot speak English. They just happen to be of another nationality. Myself, I just happen to be deaf. I have however, never seen a translator being provided, for any of these foreign speaking families. They always seemed and seem to be happy enough.

A while ago I noticed a post on social media, by the BBC’s ‘See Hear’ about one of their upcoming programmes, concerning a couple.

The woman is hearing whilst her partner is legally deafblind. They are expecting their first baby but they are unhappy…. The NHS is repeatedly asking the mum-to-be to interpret, for her partner, at HER appointments.

The NHS say that since SHE is the patient, they do not need to accommodate / provide an interpreter for HER partner. Which I think is fair enough, having thought back on all my pregnancies and rifling through my hospital memories. The patients have always come first, regardless of who they happen to be. The dads,, mums, siblings, families and visitors come second, once again, regardless of who they happen to be.. For they are not the patient, it is not their well being, pregnancies or bodies being treated and/or monitored and if they need(ed) support, what is stopping them from arranging their own? Especially if they are otherwise, unsatisfied.

The NHS’s primary concern and priorities, are their actual patients.

Granted, there will be times when a loved one is being operated on and their anxious partners, who may happen to be deaf or a foreign speaking national, will not be able to fully understand, what is being said to them by the professionals. Then, the care system should assist in providing an interpreter or a translator to ensure their patient gets the full care and treatment by their loved ones, as this would mean a full recovery.

Fortunately, I have no complaints at all with each and every NHS experience I have encountered, despite being profoundly deaf myself.

I am more conscious of seriously ill premature babies being born abroad, to parents who are having to pay for incubators, medicine, tests out of their own pockets and on borrowed money. The same people who are having to live hand to mouth, daily. I do not see them complaining one iota for they, do not know how to take things for granted.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

 

 

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Home, But Not At Home.

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Looks beware.

It took a lot out of me today, to remain calm and ignore this incredibly rude woman on the bus who refused to budge an inch for me and my pram, which carried my beautiful sleeping baby.

The bus was almost EMPTY but she was sitting right where the pram needs to be placed, safely. The priority seats for those with a pram or children. I was dumbfounded by her coldness and misery. Not one flicker of kindness or consideration to let me pass, her, to access the empty seat next to her so I could sit next to / with my baby.

I decided not to let her dictate the whole situation and submit to her evilness so I squeezed past her, between her and the pram and sat down. I felt her stony glare dig in and could see just how despicable she became, out of the corner of my eye. I focused on my baby who was my priority and smiled at her, reassuring her I was by her side so she could go back to sleep.

A sense of achievement overcame me, I had not allowed her to bully me based on her assumptions of me.

A kind stranger looked at me to see if I was okay because they too had noticed this woman’s attitude. I would have loved to vent right there and then with someone who witnessed it all, especially their dirty looks. Instead, a hint of a smile was managed.

Patience prevailed.

I was born in the United Kingdom and I have a British passport. I may not have pale white skin or “English” features but that does not give anyone the right to judge me or anyone else based on my / our looks or choice of clothing.

Who the hell do some people think they are? Piss off!

Words fail me, when I am made to feel like a foreigner in my own country. This may be my home country but I am most certainly, not at home.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Grenfell Tower.

I visited the site of Grenfell Tower yesterday since my cousin was there and fortunately, managed to get out. She thought Armageddon had started and watched it turn into a towering inferno. I was totally unprepared for the aftermath, the sights, smells and feelings. The precise moment I saw the burnt out shell of a residential high rise, it was smouldering still….

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My breath was momentarily taken away purely by the size of it, my heart sank and my thoughts turned to all the other victims, those who perished, are missing and affected.

I experienced pleas of donations, pleas for missing beloved, hopes. Most of all, pure devastation. As I walked past mountains of kindness, I found a memorial wall. As I started to read through people’s condolences, a couple of tears started to roll down my cheeks. A volunteer from the Latymer Centre walked right up to me with her arms open and hugged me for what seemed like forever. She then asked me if I was okay, I could not speak but put my thumbs up to indicate that I was and to thank her, for her time and patience.

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It is ordinary people who have come together and to the rescue of others, other than the police and fire services. Where the hell is our government?! Where is their love, their kindness?

That woman who was running for Prime Minsiter against May? She was right, May doesn’t have children so she most certainly doesn’t know who to be or how to be. Or how to feel! I’m rather embarrassed, to have Theresa May as our prime minister. Not to forget the Conservatives, for their greed.

One of the richest towns in the world decided to make a tower block, where the “lower class” live, look prettier, easier on their eyes when in fact they refurbished it into a death trap. A chimney.

Angry much?!

Yet, if it was not for the muslims observing Ramadan, more lives would have been taken. A positive, thank goodness.

My thoughts once again, return to the victims of our country, other countries, they are the ones who deserve and need our time and patience.

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Before all the flowery tributes arrived…

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I Wish The World…

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I am trying so hard not to be angry with the world.

I have to remember it is not their fault since they were not informed by the media‘s lack of coverage, of any of the bombings that happen almost daily in Palestine… Or the bombings in Turkey… Likewise in Iraq and Syria, etc. They were/are innocent people too and just as important.

If only they got their silent moment of remembrances too, by way of a cartoon, a flag over a photo, etc.

I wish the world would not appear so one sided.

Mainstream media is @*#¥ at covering news equally / independently. Much of their content is being controlled, omitted or manipulated if anything.

We know because of our family connections here at there so we are aware of the differences in all of the media we access. Those otherwise, aren’t made aware unless they seek that knowledge, the truth for themselves.

Except, some people, who do come across the information, will choose ignorance instead which can be bliss – for them. And it is their behaviour which dictates who stays in their lives.

Sad but oh so very true.

Patience is a virtue….

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

It Takes Two To Tango.

These past few weeks have been rather enlightening because I have been reminded, just how disrespectful people can be.

I do not appreciate being watched, looked down at, ignored etc and this is not only on social media either. Sadly.

Many a time I have gone out of my way to help another, to be patient with another, to be there for another yet for the respect not to be returned, is just plain rude. For them to be unwilling to accept me for who I am and the starkness of my honesty, of which contradicts the lies they spew – this can only explain their anger. Haters can go ahead and waste their precious time, hating.

If they cannot find an iota of kindness from within them to pay respect in return or make some room for you, remember that your self worth outweighs theirs by far.

I reserve the right to be comfortable in what I consider to be, MY space. If the respect and patience is not going to be returned,  then watch me walk away.

As simple as that because after all, it takes two to tango. 🙂

In order for one to be comfortable and happier, one has to be willing to lose connections with the “noise” in our lives.

“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

~ Alexander Den Heijer

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~ SJ (Sara Jae)