I noticed a post a very good friend of mine shared, others by other friends too, of the same nature, I simply let the others go but because I had a lot of respect for this particular friend, I was worried they were being brainwashed, relatively manipulated and without realising it, potentially paying that trait forwards.
The post shared stated;
“In 2017 when the Manchester Arena was bombed, lots of people changed their profile picture to the worker bee and said “Manchester Strong”. Nobody said “All cities strong”.
When the shootings at the Bataclan in Paris happened in 2015, people said “I stand with Paris”. Nobody said “Well what about the people who were shot in my city”.
Have you ever seen anyone counter a breast cancer post with “What about Colon cancer?”.
But for some reason, if someone says “Black lives matter”, it turns into all inclusive “All lives matter”. Its not an either/or proclamation.
When there is a crisis, we have always rallied around that particular group. It doesn’t discredit or diminish any other group, it just brings awareness and support to the group that needs attention.”
So I relatively composed a response, to that “statement”, as below.
Regarding some of these points, the people that may have made some of these choices, their choices were respected, others sympathised with and then people moved on but the wording of a certain movement sparked a debate and everyone else was expected to follow suit, expected to ask no questions and simply expected to follow the crowd. Even after justice had been served – people were and are still not happy.
People were encouraged by speakers to take advantage of the whole situation… encouraged to protest even more and told to keep the anger alive. Violence & destructive behaviour of any kind is unacceptable, regardless of who you/they may be. Regardless of who you/they may support.
If anyone dared to think otherwise or independently, their choices were and are not respected and reverse psychology was/ is being applied.
The BLM movement is fine, uniting against ALL racism would benefit everyone but how people choose to behave to go about it, oppressing people’s choices, especially if they wanted to think for themselves, or to be at a safe distance (for their own mental health sake for example) or to make it only about themselves, to be violent or cause destruction, hatred, anger and dismay isn’t going to get anyone, anywhere. Negativity breeds…
People know already that my family has experienced racism in different ways, of course I would naturally want to see eradicating it to be inclusive of all. I’m mindful that way and that is not a crime… and if anyone doesn’t like that, please unfriend me. That’s my right just as it is yours to choose your right. I respect your right but what I do not appreciate is being or seeing others manipulated.
The whole BLM thing has been subverted now, morphed into something else.
So many people of different races, colour or creed have been unlawfully killed, we’ve not heard the last of it either.
Several of my friends, who happen to be black, they themselves are saying “Enough is enough now, be united!” People’s choices should be respected regardless of who/what they may be, no oppressing, no forcibly suppressing, no manipulating, no engineering, no reverse psychology… Just, respect one another.
BLM movement? That’s fine, I agree with the whole movement but the wording? No. That is what the problem here is, that is what’s causing tit for tat, that is at the root of the whole division.
Racism on the whole needs attention, but from an united front’s perspective as that is the only way it will be eradicated.
If anyone doesn’t like fairness, cannot accept the idea of unity or does not want to respect people’s individual choices, please unfriend me. I have unfriended others for the one sided hatred they have shared, the dividing they are causing regardless of who they may be. That kind of negativity is toxic. God knows the world doesn’t need any more toxicity or anger.
Stick with the good vibes (my friend) for it makes your soul glow, even more so. ☺️
One of my favourite quotes is;
“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”
The moment I realised as a very young girl that a tongue was for speaking the truth – honesty became the best policy. My maternal grandmother had this brass casting of the three wise monkeys, “See no evil, Hear no evil and Speak no evil” of which has been some comfort to me whilst growing up, to aspire to.
Here are my interpretations;
1) Mizaru, “See no evil” – our eyes are scouts for the heart. To identify when someone is engineering a sinful situation so we can refrain from certain desires of the heart and remain righteous.
2) Kikazaru, “Hear no evil” – our ears are for listening to someone else with patience and respect – attentively. Not for turning a deaf ear, listening to slander, rumours, back biting.
3) Iwazaru, “Speak no evil” – our tongues are for speaking the truth albeit respectfully – not for lies, backbiting or spreading rumours.
There is sometimes a forth monkey depicted which is Shizaru, symbolising the principle of “Do no evil”. He may be shown covering his genitals or crossing his arms. All the tenets of the proverb are about not dwelling on evil thoughts, being morally responsible and steering clear of those inclined towards impropriety.
Having been in a broken home and then packed off to boarding school despite my protests. From experience, I have learnt to to identify situations especially whenever I was being spun a lie by anyone. This is because I despise lying above anything else immoral, to me; it is the ultimate sin.
Friends and boyfriends of past have tried to deceive me yet I chose then based on the extent and context of their actions, not to react to their efforts of which were in vain to outwit / betray me except to overlook their flaws and give them another chance. Trying to remember (and looking for) the best in them without letting them know that I knew the truth and remained patient. Fortunately, there should always be a line that we draw for ourselves and once that boundary has been crossed, justified by their actions – it is time to part ways. Only then, would I reveal to them with examples that I knew of how they had lied to me.
One evening, a boyfriend became rather “busy”. My instincts told me that he was being “busy” with his ex-girlfriend so I left the matter alone and gave the benefit of the doubt until the next morning thus giving him an opportunity to be honest with me. That afternoon I decided to text him asking nicely, how his evening went with his ex-girlfriend. He was in absolute shock and could not understand just how I knew. Ever since then we have remained just friends because he was honest with me whilst showing so much respect. I for one could have wasted my time being devastated or feeling angry and betrayed – how then would that have benefitted our friendship today?
People will unfortunately try practising having one rule for themselves and another for others. This to me is another form of lying yet in the hypocritical sense. For example, someone decided to single out another and cease all contact. Just because they did not talk often or live nearby (!) and proceeded to block this person, (of whom had done absolutely nothing wrong) across all social mediums. This person upon realising, decided to stand up for themselves and find out why, (as mentioned above) only to respond to the initiator with “What about all the other people you do not know even though we have met and occasionally spoke?!”
See how one person’s deceit could dictate someone else’s emotion and day? That person could have gone on to be angry with someone else, that someone else angry with another and so on. Who is the sole cause of this ripple effect? What then, is the point of lying and being disrespectful? I consider being honest and truthful as a mark of respect, inwardly and outwardly. Therefore if someone dares to pull the wool over someone else’s eyes, they obviously do not have any morals or respect – for themselves, let alone others.
A blind person would not be able to tell if someone was dressed extravagantly or haggardly, a deaf person less able to differentiate between someone who is speaking eloquently and lazily – more than likely they would treat everyone as equals. People do tend to pass judgement and dangerous assumptions unto others by the way we dress, sound or behave when all they need to do is be patient and seek the truth. I for one am not afraid of standing up to someone in authority albeit respectfully as my equal, especially when they have abused that authority, their position or trust. We all return to the earth whatever our status and wealth so what point is there to be aloof of one, ignore one and praise another when all we need to remember to do is be respectful of all beings equal – regardless.
If only people realised just how much they are taking for granted, what creations had been given to them whilst forming as a foetus and is being granted still. Sadly, people choose to consciously lie, abuse and take advantage to this day. I can only hope they will realise the errors of their ways, of which all their actions will amount to the last straw that breaks the camel’s back and they will accept the consequences of their actions – for which they alone are responsible.
My conscience is clear – is yours? 🙂
Please, do not take your sight, hearing or your tongue (or anything else!) for granted…
I read this a while ago and I could not believe how true it rang so I am sharing it on, in the hope that no one else thinks they are alone in suffering too.
“There is such a thing as being too nice, too giving and too caring.
To overcome depression you must stop the habit of bending over to gain people’s approval. I know, it’s easier said than done. But no one said it’d be easy…
Those who are affected by depression tend to be people-pleasers. And yet, ironically, quite often they are viewed by others as selfish and self-centred…
For over three decades I believed in that crap myself. I believed I was selfish and self-involved. I was convinced I had nothing to offer. I also thought that it didn’t matter what I thought. That my opinion was less important than anyone else’s.
It seemed as if I was always living someone else’s life. First, I was the child who was “too young to understand things” and therefore to make decisions. My life was run by the grown ups, who weren’t able to see the serious damage caused by the primitive belief such as; “children should be seen but not heard.”
Then later, I became an young adult, clinging to any guy who’d find anything whatsoever appealing in me. At that time my looks seemed to have the only value in the eyes of others.
I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t who I am. I was a “slave” to anyone who was willing to have me in their life. The fear of rejection always steered my thoughts into the direction that led others to benefit from it more than I did.
How tiring was that! How exhausting it is having to constantly put others before your own self! And how little reward you get at the end of it…
All this, so you can keep deluding yourself that someone cares about you, at least enough to stick around. For a while, at least…. ’till they get tired of it.
Then what do you do when the inevitable happens and when they leave? You blame yourself, of course. Consciously, or subconsciously, your already low self-esteem gets reinforced. It spirals downward in a lightening speed and you get even more depressed, thinking that there is no tomorrow for you…
Well, there is. And it’s a bright one, too!
You’ve heard the phrase: “You teach people how to treat you” but you’ve ignored it so far. Maybe because when you did try to stand up for yourself it always seemed to have back fired. You might even had finally snapped and told others to fuck off, which they deserved to hear, only to find yourself being labeled as too aggressive and not “lady-like.”
Well dear, who the fuck gives a damn? Who cares what others think and, or say? Let me just remind you – it shouldn’t be you. There is only one person in this entire world whose opinion should matter to you, and that is YOU and you ONLY.
There is only one person in this entire Universe that needs your pleasing, and that person is you.
There is only one person who needs your caring the most, and yes, you’ve guessed it – it’s you again.
Just remember this: if you care too much – others will care too little… If you remain too available – others will always remain too busy for you. Without even being apologetic about it, people will always make you wait for them, making you feel as if your time is not nearly as valuable as theirs. You get the picture…
You will encounter resistance from those around you when you start making those long-overdue changes, but that’s OK. Have fun with it. See that sense of amusement on their faces and that sense of disbelief… Stare back at them without blinking.
Be prepared to deal with the consequences of having the courage to do what’s right for you. In your mind let go of the fear of not having that job in case your boss decides to fire you. Maybe it means it’s time to do something else for a living.
Be ready to let go of your significant other if s/he continues to refuse to treat you in a new, more loving and respectful way.
Make yourself OK with being alone for now. Make yourself comfortable with being with… YOU. Get to know yourself. Find out exactly what your needs and desires are and then become unstoppable in fulfilling them! Be selfish. They’ve accused you of it so many times before, now it’s time for you to show others how selfish you can really be! Show them that you mean business… 🙂
Renounce the guilt. Let go of it. Completely. It’s time to release it.
Be your number one. Be bold. Be spontaneous. Learn to be yourself in every situation and around everyone.
I condemn all acts of terrorism especially where innocent people have to die.
Muslims seem to lose either way. They are constantly asked to apologise for crimes they did not commit nor supported. They are stuck between the extremists and fanatics on either sides. Most Muslims want to work providing for their family and get on with life in harmony, just like the police officer, Ahmed Merabet wanted to, who was also killed yesterday. I am certain not many people know that he was a Muslim because the media did not mention this until much later on but there was no news of what religions the others were. It does not matter to the media because it is not sensational enough and does not go with the narrative of their headlines. This police officer paid with his life trying to do his job as a just person. The far right are striving in France and this will be an opportunity for them to milk this sad situation to their advantages. Sadly the bigots will jump on the band wagon of hatred without any thoughts to the consequences.
Charlie Hebdo was founded in 1970 and since then they have been relentless in mocking everybody in a very aggressive manner. They have a long history of provoking a wide range of people based on their choices and beliefs. Many of their satirical cartoons are tasteless, violent and sexually explicit – depicting many religious figures and politicians.
In 2012 the French government condemned Charlie Hebdo for publishing caricatures depicting Prophet Mohammed. They even urged the magazine to reconsider their decision in publishing the material but they refused. As a result the French government decided to take security measures to protect their embassies and consulates around the world. They also increased security around Charlie Hebdo’s offices. The magazine was determined in pursuit of what they believed is their right to mock others through “Free Speech”. While they are free to publish what they like with the exception of any anti-Semitic content, the law could not stop them or any of their provocative material but there is an unwritten rule to be respectful to others in every walk of life – regardless, in my opinion. You might be walking down an extremely narrow path and someone walks up towards you so you decide to step aside in order to let them go through first. This is what humanity is all about. Why do we have to be so nasty, oppressive and/or so hurtful towards one another?
There are those who will poke fun at disabled people – does anyone still remember Glenn Hoddle? When he remarked disabled people had been punished for their previous life (not very clever) and as a consequence he was sacked from his position as an England football manager. While there is nothing set in law to prosecute him with, the FA still acted and sacked him to show such opinions will not be tolerated.
My point being, freedom of speech is important but we need to hold back at our own discretion if we feel what we might say or do is hurtful towards others. There will always be people who want to push the boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that but freedom of speech cannot be used as an excuse to hide behind from when their actions has consequences and they should expect the same level of freedom of speech back especially when in a democratic state.
My main worry at this point in time is how society is reacting based on what the media wants us to see and believe regarding the cartoons. First it was Denmark, now France – next it will be the UK. When the World Trade Centre was targeted on the 11th of September (9/11), we suspected London would be next but not when. We also knew that the London public transport system would be targeted as that is what would have hurt the city most. If the Waging a dirty war. continues to retaliate to this sad state of affairs regarding the cartoons with the same kind of mockery that provoked all this, their offices could be next.
Any perceived anti-Semitism would be handled straightaway and the offenders promptly dealt with. Yet for any other religions, any anti views are sadly casually tolerated which I find very unfair because the same law should apply to all religions. By being respectful and mindful of others at all times would nip any anti views in the bud and would avoid that cataclysmic chain reaction of events spiralling out of anyone’s control. As for censorship? Do not even try to hide behind that excuse because no one ever sees what actually happens to the people of Palestine and other war torn countries: Waging a dirty war.
Is the Ku Klux Klan a representative of Christians? So why do many think Terrorists are representative of Muslims? Fanatics or extremists does not define their religion come what may except distorts the truth behind it – all religions which asks for submission to the one and only same god is about peace and humanity. A true believer would not stoop so low to harm another because their religion (should) forbids it. Unfortunately people not in the know or are well informed regarding a particular religion will accept that distortion all too readily. It is those who are the most sincere in their hearts that suffer the most from all this due to fanatics and others attributing excuses.
Thank you for allowing me to practise free speech – with respect comes peace.
As I began setting up the Tree House and laying its foundations, I invited two other old school friends to join me and they both happily agreed. Robin McMeekin, bless his soul, voluntarily left after he realised his actions could have been quite damaging onto himself and the TH. He is very much a free spirit, doing as he pleases whilst being very outspoken with his views – some of which, other people thought were a bit extreme even though he was entitled to his own opinions. So the three of us became the two of us. Robin and his sense of humour are missed, by more than he realises.
The TH then continued to bloom and grow with all the nurturing each and every one put into it.
One day, when most of the admin team did not get their way and walked out like spoilt brats – one of whom went as far as to mimick her house mate’s tendancy to put themselves into hospital. Kirsty Vessey (nee McMullan) then stepped in and tried to make me think we could not do without them. This was the first warning sign I had that things were not going to be plain sailing any more.
Of course, we could do without them, especially if they were going to be so self-centred / absorbed / power mad – so let them go and make way for other team members instead who might do even better (who knows?) To their demands they had made via Kirsty, I made my own of which soon transpired were not relayed but swept under the rug to appease them, just so they would come back. This was the first mistake she made.
Therefore, it was inevitable that there would be a next time that they wanted their own way once again, except I would not let anyone manipulate me this time around. They could not understand my position as the legal founder and owner, that I had the last say in how I wanted to protect the TH and see it performing. I wrote a blog called “Stop Online Abuse” to speak out as it had been going on for far too long in the deaf world across social media, far too many others also behave in this manipulative way in order to achieve what they want. By trying to provide a platform to try to bridge the gaps between and unite both the deaf and hearing worlds, the last thing I would tolerate was people from within my own community turning on their own.
They took over another group belonging to the Tree House and renamed it. Only then to set up their own when people realised what they had done. I was not going to take this second or third attempted takeover bid laying down – I reported them with hard evidence to make them stop harassing, bullying and manipulating me, also via my friends. They predictably went around mutual friends in a bid to get them to leave the TH, to abandon and to turn them against me. I had several witnesses who could vouch what was happening and these witnesses made me feel slightly vindicated. They were telling everyone (confirmed by Michelle Hedley) that I was doing all this and that when I had not – I had learnt a very, very, long time ago not to allow anyone to use anything against me… Yet still, I was wronged and being wronged. For what? Doing the right things as the legal owner. Even when I publicly thanked everyone for their time, patience and contributions which made the TH what it is, I was still being given grief.
One of them, Richard Turner, had the nerve to turn it all against me by using the famous animal farm quote when he was potentially the engineer behind it all as the team was more or less made up of who he wanted on the team and what events he wanted or did not want to do which was also under his influence. And because of that, I decided it was no longer necessary to have a dedicated events team as the members themselves could be encouraged and empowered to create and do events as they wished.
My mother saw this very quote he posted that was directed at me so she relatively slammed him right back down, accusing him of bullying me and clarified that the animal farm quote, was actually who “they” were being.
I am going to attach some of the evidence which will speak for itself, how they behaved so you can see for yourself just how despicable they were being as I am tired and have had quite enough, of being browbeaten. Tired of seeing my friends suffering too at the hands of their unreasoning and logic(!).
My friends were being unfriended / blocked for not taking his/their sides and for quite simply, being friends with me. Their rightful choice?
Even stooped as low to go down the route, using a form of monstering to make me look like the “baddie”.
The last straw was when the Ward-McLaughlans involved my daughter.
Everyone that knows me knows I will say it like it is – which is nothing but the truth….. Shame on those who run around destroying people, (and those who condoned their actions) it makes them out to be a psycho or perhaps more appropriately sociopaths.
Around the same time as reporting some of the unsavoury behaviour by “others”, “friends” (from the same circle) took it upon themselves to involve my daughter by deciding that we were no longer welcome as part of an organised group outing, an event via the Tree House – that we could not watch “Peter Pan” by Chickenshed, with them when I had already paid for our tickets.
The point at the time was that two of these “friends” who are well-known to Chickenshed therefore they were bringing Chickenshed into disrepute by deciding themselves that I and my daughter could not come to watch a show by Chickenshed. Lizzie Ward-McLaughlan (also known as Elizabeth Ward) and her husband, Daniel Ward-McLaughlan, did not even give me a chance or the choice, to ask whether I wanted the tickets myself to sell on at face value so I could get my money back or if I/we still wanted to go… They simply decided for us and that, we were no longer welcome. Just like that?! All due to their personal bias and manipulation / influence from others – they all, also went around spreading lies to deter people from using the Tree House and to destroy me by defaming my character.
They wanted particular details to send me, my refund but I was suspicious that they would use my private details for other reasons and so I refused to share that and requested the refund be donated to a charity instead with proof of receipt for my records. This made losing the money for the tickets I bought, that bit less painful.
We were all appalled at this form of despicable behaviour and how childish “they” were being. My daughter is only 8 years old at this point in time and she was being so much more mature than they were, despite being let down over an opportunity to watch an inspirational show by inspirational people.
Of course, I decided to report them to Chickenshed because this was wrong and extremely unfair, especially on my daughter who was looking forwards to going out on a wintry night to watch a Christmas pantomime amidst the christmas cheer. Stuff like this, for children, is what memories are made of but then again “they” all didn’t have any children so “they” would never understand the disappointment, responsibilities and priorities I had.
I sent Chickenshed all the hard evidence and correspondence I had experienced, asking Chickenshed to make “them” stop in their tracks and to make them think of the consequences their actions were having, on Chickenshed too.
Chickenshed very kindly took it all on board and offered me two tickets out of goodwill, for another performance instead. Which was very much appreciated at the time and we were extremely grateful for. Result!
A drop of kindness goes a long way and it does not do any harm…
If you experience any kind of manipulation, oppression or bullying in any sense at all – always report them especially with hard evidence. I have had qualms in the past about reporting people but it is the only way to get them to reflect upon their behaviour by exposing them. And sometimes reporting them will actually make them stop misbehaving and improvements being made to their code of conduct and policies – one example (of several) follows;
“Dear Sara Jae,
RE: Complaint of Harassment and Bullying Behaviour (Reference number: withheld for privacy)
Thank you for bringing to our attention your concerns with regard to our recently elected Trustee and long term volunteer Mr Richard Turner and a new volunteer with Action on Hearing Loss, Eloise Garland.
I have investigated your complaint in depth in accordance with our complaints policy and I have examined the relevant documents supplied and these have been discussed and reviewed with Richard and Eloise as part of my investigation.
My investigation considered two specific areas:-
The actions of Richard and Eloise as volunteers of Action on Hearing Loss including that of Trustee in Richard’s case.
Whether or not it is appropriate for Action on Hearing Loss to comment on discussions within a social media context over which we have no authority and where people comment within a personal capacity.
Before advising of the outcome of my investigation it is appropriate to provide information regarding our Trustee Board.
Our Trustee Board comprises nominated and elected Trustees. An elected Trustee is a person who puts forward their name, is then nominated by a member and is then subject to election by our membership. The election is overseen by the Electoral Reform Service and the person with a majority of votes is duly elected to the vacant position. Provided the person meets standards outlined by the Charity Commission and Companies House they are appointed. Action on Hearing Loss and the Board of Trustees have no right of veto over an elected Trustee. One of our strengths as a charity is having a mix of nominated professionals and elected supporters as Trustees. Richard is one of our newly elected Trustees.
With regard to both points therefore I have concluded the following:-
Action on Hearing Loss has noted with concern the distress caused by various comments made by RT. However these comments were not made in a capacity as a volunteer for Action on Hearing Loss they were the comments of RT and EG as private individuals. Therefore we do not consider it is appropriate to take any formal action at this stage. RT has not breached any rules as a trustee (which is also a volunteer role in Action on Hearing Loss). However it is apparent that the language used at times in these communications could be seen as inflammatory and misleading. We therefore recognise the need to emphasise to RT and EG along with all our volunteers the requirement to separate any personal comments and any indication that these are the views of Action on Hearing Loss. I shall also follow up with advice to RT and EG and all volunteers the need to be aware that language used in Social Media should be constructed in a way that demonstrates respect to people at all times. To this end we will review and update the following documents and policies:-
– Our Volunteer Handbook
– Our Induction Training for Trustees
– Our Social Media Policy
– Our Bullying and Harassment Policy
As a national charity with over 1400 volunteers, on this occasion we do not consider it appropriate to comment on whether inappropriate behaviour has taken place on an independent forum. For example people do sometimes use social networking sites and forums and other forms of social media to air their grievances which appears to have been the case on both sides in these instances. People also see social media as a channel for free speech and there can be confusion over what is acceptable behaviour in the use of social media. Both parties have had disagreements about things relating to the Tree House site and related activities and have aired these disagreements publicly on this site and forum which has caused further disagreement and distress between parties.
I know from your correspondence with me that you have been upset and distressed and I very much appreciate you having raised your concerns with us and will take the actions identified above to safeguard against a repetition of this nature. We are also pleased to note that you will continue to support the Charity and the work of Action on Hearing Loss. Finally I would like to reassure you that we will continue to deal with complaints with the utmost seriousness and investigate fully in accordance with our policies.
(name kept anonymous for privacy)
Action on Hearing Loss (Formerly RNID)”
As for NADP?? Well, I am not going to hold my breath for sure since they elected themselves in and ran it to the ground. Any bets on when I will hear from them? 😛
Being in the public eye for the past two years has subjected me to many forms of online abuse be it indirectly or directly. I have witnessed the “mob mentality” escalate appallingly fast when someone may have a different school of thought, or by simply being different. Take the time for example when I was attacked for choosing to speak instead of sign in my BBC interview. I naturally speak when I am with hearing people as I am more comfortable doing so yet my choice to speak was not respected by those who demanded that I signed just because I come from a deaf family. I was put between a rock and a hard place and I was damned if I did sign and damned if I didn’t. The sheer number of sheep flocking was astonishing – thank God I am not a sheep! These days, too many people take advantage of peer pressure to manipulate and dictate others what to do.
“Hate, it has caused a lot of problems in the world, but has not solved one yet.” – Maya Angelou.
There will always be someone who can put forwards different perspectives on issues and situations due to their experiences in life and knowledge, making the impact for change greater – surely everyone deserves to be respected with kindness just as much as the next person regardless? It is extremely healthy to have variations of viewpoints so one can be educated and decide – especially for themselves.
When having a different opinion one tends to be singled out as a “Troll” yet to single that person out as a troll must be another form of abuse in itself.
However I have recently experienced a new form of online abuse and I have been left saddened by it. This experience has made me want to retreat, have nothing at all to do with the world-wide web to distance myself from all the negativity and to restrain myself from reacting. Life is far too short.
To go onto social media and post potentially libellous material which names a person, persons and so on when they cannot defend themselves surely must be another form of online abuse? Especially when there is no evidence that the named party has attacked or done anything wrong yet people feel the urge to personally attack the named party? And what’s worse, people adopting the “mob mentality” by joining in and adding fuel to the fire. No one is born with hatred – it is instilled and mimicked. If only respect worked in the same sense.
Seeing that occur from a distance opened my eyes and I soon realised I had been in the very same position numerous times now. Unfortunately I know I am not alone in this experience for a friend of mine was personally attacked recently by someone posting a video onto social media publicly naming him and criticising him. If only he had sorted his dispute out privately with the named person – he would not be now known as a bully within our circle of mutual friends.
I will not tolerate or condone any form of online abuse around me especially bullying. I made it clear that I would not stand for this within the Tree House in the form of personal attacks (or when we are named outside the safety perimeters of the Tree House which subsequently is inviting us to take action) or be associated with those seen to be contributing to the very public online form of abuse. Yet making it clear, I was inevitably set upon. My position as founder in trying to protect the Tree House from any potential damage was questioned, undermined. oppressed and criticised. Being unbiased and diplomatic sets myself apart from others and this helps me to look outside the box – as always I will do as I deem just, adapting to each situation based on my experience. Was my being criticised and slated another form of online abuse? Maybe not in their eyes but it certainly felt like it to me.
To have thick skin is very important and deaf people are extremely vulnerable to the various forms of abuse, be it online, within society, at school, at work and unfortunately at home. In all walks of life, there will always be that someone who will try to drag others down no matter who they may be, for being different. My scars have healed over many times now hence why my skin has grown thicker and if I can refuse to be manipulated, so can you. Positivity rules!
Do not encourage any form of online abuse because these emotions which are associated with being bullied will exhibit themselves within the victim(s).
◾Difficulty trusting others
The offenders’ hatred should not dictate your time and you would only be lowering yourself to their level if you join in or encourage it. Rise above it because people who show their true colours in this manner deserve to be reported to the police so keep a record of all the evidence and present it in order to take action. I have done this in the past being a victim and they have listened – they issued warnings to the offending parties. With actions comes consequences – if they can dish it out, they can certainly take it.
Please, don’t have one rule for yourself and another for others – put yourself in the victim’s shoes and walk hundreds of miles in it first, taking a look in the mirror before passing any judgement or criticism.
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King Jnr.
It is about time online abuse in its various forms is stopped. Help by being a part of that change in stopping personal attacks, cyber bullying and all forms of online harassment. Fight back – especially for justice.
Update: Defamatory gossip is now being spread about The Tree House and myself which is once again another form of abuse – Please keep evidence of this as we have built up a case which we have taken action on with positive results.
Sadly too many people are ill informed regarding the Israeli-Palestinian situation, the governments and the politicians of the West DO know the truth but because of their agendas, they will not act upon it to resolve anything.
No matter what you say about this issue, people will always accuse you of being bias one way or the other, only ignorant people would see it from one side of the fence and show bias with a closed mind and follow their friends just like sheep.
I came across Miko Peled’s very honest speech on YouTube which tells his side of the story about Israel:
(It is an hour long but it is worth watching if you really want to know the truth. You can turn on the captions but bear in mind they are automated subtitles so they naturally have a few mistakes. However the automated subtitles have many errors but with a bit of help and patience I have managed to compile a list of the errors alongside the corrections. This list can be found at the end of this article.)
Miko Peled who is an Israeli Jew and was born into a prominent Zionist military family, his father was a well-known Army General and Miko himself served in the Israeli Army. His sister who lost her daughter to a Palestinian suicide bombing was a friend of Netanyahu (the current Israeli prime minister) and this incident happened while Netanyahu was also the prime minister then.
My introduction of Miko would have you assuming that I am biased already because how can I pick an Israeli Jew to shed a light on the issue of Israeli /Palestinian conflict? Never assume!
Far from it, Miko tells it like it is. Nothing deterred him from telling the truth, telling the truth was his mission and I am sure in the process he must have lost many friends. When you speak out, you have a lot to lose and life can become a lot harder for you and this why I feel he has nothing to gain apart from telling the truth.
Here is a summary of Miko’s book by LUDWIG WATZAL
Miko Peled, The General’s Son, a journey of an Israeli in Palestine.
In 1997, a tragedy struck the family of Israeli-American Miko Peled. His 13-year-old niece Smadar was killed by suicide bombers in Jerusalem. Born into a prominent Zionist military family, his father was a prominent general, who turned after the Israel’s “war of aggression” in 1967, into an advocate of peace with the Palestinians, the real owners of the land of Palestine. The tragic death of his niece served as an “eye-opener”. His personal journey from a Zionist by education, family and societal socialization into an outspoken critic of Israel’s colonial and aggressive policy is convincingly documented in his extraordinary book: “The General’s Son”.
His sister, Nurit Peled-Elhanan, reacted very unusually to the tragic death of her daughter. She did not blame the suicide bombers but the occupation policy of the Israeli governments. At that time, Benyamin Netanyhu served his first term as Israel’s Prime Minister. As a mother, she did not call for revenge because Israel’s long lasting mistreatment of the Palestinian people created people like them. Miko Peled makes it also very clear that Israeli policy has to be blamed. His sister, Nurit Peled-Elhanan, is a well-known professor for language and education at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem. Her latest book “Palestine in Israeli Schoolbooks” (or video) shows how Israeli school children are indoctrinated by outright racism and Zionist ideology. This manipulation occurs at different fields like images, maps, layouts and use of language in History, Geography and Civic Studies textbook, The manipulation by education aims at the marginalization of Palestinians and reinforces Jewish-Israeli identity.
The author himself was a victim of Zionist indoctrination that stigmatized a whole people to enemies he has had no opportunity to really know. This insanity ended when Miko Peled met for the first time Palestinians in San Diego. With these meetings began a journey from darkness to enlightenment. Step by step, he stripped himself of the taught ignorance of the so-called “other”.
Forty years later, Miko Peled followed into his father’s footsteps, General Mattiyahu (Matti) Peled. He was the first famous member of the Zionist military establishment who “violated” the esprit de corps. Courageously, he debunked the Zionist mystique about the Six-Day War of June 1967. Everybody, who is not a partisan, knows that it was a war of aggression, planned by the military establishment, the second generation, against the will of the political leadership, the immigrant generation. One should read the statements by Israeli politicians like Menachem Begin or other top brass of the military elite. But neither the US nor European academics incorporate their statements into their analysis because it would destroy the myth about the Six-Day War that Zionist Hasbara (propaganda) has created.
The author combines the exceptional history of his family, the political development of the State of Israel and his personal conversion to a fundamental critic of the policy of the different Israeli governments. As a former soldier he knows what he is talking when it comes to the Israeli army: It is the “best trained, best equipped, best fed terrorist organization in the world”, so Miko Peled in his speech on October 1, 2012 in Seattle. “Their entire purpose is terrorism.” What will the “Israel Lobby” and its fans in the US or Western Europe says against this realistic characterization? They will yell out: “self-hating Jew”; “Anti-Semite” would not work well against a former Israeli soldier, or their other ridiculous accusations. Presumably, they will just hush up. Nevertheless, should it occur to the public that their only argument against Peled’s very convincing arguments might be character assassinations? What Peled writes cannot be confounded by the Zionists all over the world. Even the universal weapon of “anti-Semitism” would go unheard.
Not the so-called anti-Semites or the so-called self-hating Jews have to justify their legitimate criticism of the brutality of the Israeli government policies against a defenseless people but the Zionist crowd in the US and all over the world. Peled stresses that the “Israel Lobby” and their cheerleaders have to explain why a so-called “Jewish and democratic state” colonizes against international law, human and real democratic rights a people and destroy systematically their existence by house demolitions, expulsion, torture, settler and military terrorism, uprooting trees, build Jewish-only roads, establish a different law systems, one for Jews and the others for “barbarians”, or the massacre in the Gaza Strip in 2008/09 that caused the death of more than 1400 people, most of them women and children. How the “Israel Lobby” does explain more than 30 laws that discriminate against Israeli Palestinians who live in Israel proper and are citizens of the State of Israel? More and more Jews with conscience in the US turn their back on Israel. They are fed up that Judaism is taken hostage by Zionist ideology. Norman Finkelstein’s book “Knowing too much” and Peter Beinart’s book “The Crisis of Zionism” are evidence for this theory.
Either the whites in South Africa or the whites in the south of the US did not like equal rights for “blacks”. Both racist regimes were not dissolved “by consensus”, writes Peled and he continues saying: “But Zionism like racism has to go. The Zionist state has to be replaced by a democracy.”
These are just some of the reviews left by readers of this book.
This review is from: The General’s Son: Journey of an Israeli in Palestine (Paperback)
I expect like most I previously hadn’t thought too much about the history of Israel or as it turns out, the arcane, arrogant attitudes of the leadership of the Israeli people. This book through the personal story of Miko Peled gave me an insight to both and opened my eyes to the real situation in place today between Israel and Palestine and its people. My views are now more refined and lead me to believe that the Israeli government has serious questions to answer and much for which to atone.
This review is from: The General’s Son: Journey of an Israeli in Palestine (Kindle Edition)
Miko Peled takes the reader on a journey across the divide of hate created by Zionism in both Israel and Palestine. In tackling the apocalyptic cruelty of extreme far-right statehood and racial supremacism, his touching humanity towards his Middle Eastern brothers shines through. Great read.
This review is from: The General’s Son: Journey of an Israeli in Palestine (Paperback)
Miko Peled’s credentials are impeccable; he was a captain in the Israeli Defence Force, his father was a General in the IDF and his grandfather took part in the declaration of Israeli independence. Despite all of that he has now turned his back on Zionism and explains in the book, with humility and humanity his reasons for doing so. After conducting his own research he also discredits many of the Zionist myths, including the background to the 1967 war and the true circumstances behind the Palestinians leaving their homes and homeland. Probably because of its explosive contents, this book has had little coverage in the UK media, all the more reason to read it.
“I was 39 years old, I was here in United states and that was the very first time I ever met Palestinians, I grew up in Jerusalem, I was born and raised in Jerusalem a mixed city, the first time I ever sat with Palestinians in a normal setting as a completely equal people was here in United states because even though Jerusalem is you know so called united and so on it is completely segregated”
“This country (Israel/Palestine) has a FIFTEEN hundred-year old history of Arab and Muslim rule, it was an Arab and Muslim country more than anything else in history, so that has to be destroyed monuments have to be destroyed names have to be changed the history have to be rewritten to connect once again to King David to today’s Israel and completely disregard the fact that this is in fact an Arab country that is in fact in the centre of the Arab world”
– Miko Peled (extracts as spoken in his video above)
I hope the madness of Israeli leadership will stop one day. They are generating so much hatred towards themselves from the Arab world; they are not doing themselves any favours. If the tables are turned one day and they find themselves pushed to the sea they will only have themselves to blame.
The Jews have hi-jacked the term ‘Semite’ to apply to them, when a ‘Semite’ is basically a definition of the Arab race, there is actually no such thing as the Jewish race, u can have black Jews, Indian Jews Chinese Jews ad nauseum infinitum. A shared belief in a specific religion or philosophy does not constitute a ‘race’, the Jews are in fact the biggest anti-Semites ever who are taking the pith by bombing the Arabs during their holiest month which only goes to show just how oppressive they are – in other words, “Bullies”.
What Israel is imposing is actually an act of crime which the world is turning a blind eye on. If we are bystanders to injustice, we invite injustice our way. Where are the Palestinian’s human rights?? Hitler tried ethnic cleansing on the Jews which is what the Jews are doing to the Arabs. Where is the support world over, for the Palestinians?!
UNITED NATIONS RESOLUTION 3013 from 1973:
“The struggles of people under colonial and alien determination and racist regimes for the implementation of their right to self-determination and independence is legitimate and in full accordance with the principals of international law”.
For live updates on Israel’s military offensive on the Gaza Strip, click “here“.
Each and every one of us is someone’s child – How many more can the world ignore? Where is the justice and peace? There is not a parent in this world who could ignore this.
~ SJ (Sara Jae)
The mistakes from the automated captions on Miko Peled’s video and the corrections alongside it:
-cracy. Denoting a particular form of government, rule, or influence:
I quite like the logistics behind “Democracy” and tend to do my best to advocate equality and free speech in many senses as possible– regardless of our medical histories, cultures, ethnicity and religion. I would also prefer to see democratically elected leaders to oversee and represent us, retaining the right to choose what we, the people, really want.
John Lennon’s song/phrase “Power to the People” comes to mind, or as ‘Wolfie’ from Citizen Smith would also say.
As a supposedly democratic country, we would naturally assume our neighbours would relate, practice and support this system or it’s principles too. In order to empower one another. Unfortunately leaders may turn unduly oppressive due to power trips and relatively oppress their people via acts of unjust treatment. This can also inevitably lead to dictatorship and then possibly autocracy (God forbid!) If society chooses not to comply in any sense they have been instructed to, they will be punished for it. One has no rights at all because it is one rule for those in charge and another for the rest.
Media seems to be censored and of a propagandist nature. People are therefore not exposed to hard facts occurring on a daily basis here and elsewhere in the world because those facts have been suppressed and deemed politically unacceptable. The West can go on about spreading democracy and human rights around the world but will turn a blind eye to their dictator friends purely for financial gains. This is hypocrisy not democracy. Unfortunately this hypocrisy trickles down to our daily lives be it your right as a minority or a disabled person – in my case as a deaf person. If it is not financially viable then our right is left for debate or simply denied altogether.
As citizens of a democratic country…
A friend of mine recently posted a video out of frustration which started a ripple effect within the deaf community. English is not his first language therefore he naturally feels restricted in terms of written language but he overcomes this by producing videos in BSL (British Sign Language) for us to watch. I really like this particular video because he is practising his right to freedom of speech. Please note, these are his views and his words which I have transcribed for you in order to include you. I have tried my very best to keep the transcription tone and language as him, out of respect to him and his rights.
Why am I here? I want to talk about BDA. B for Britsh, D – Deaf, A – Association.
Remember my last video thanking BSL Act (over see hear etc). Some people made comments on the video regarding BDA. Some said BDA campaigned MP’s and some disagreed. Everyone has their own different views and experiences.
My experience so far is like this. BDA themselves have been organizing for the past 10 years but nothing has happened. It’s the same story – same, same, same.
Where is our access, to improve our skills? There is nothing since 122 years ago to now. Some deaf people have terrible access, experiences of facing barriers and brick walls. How can we overcome this? We have to contact BDA for advice but they say they cannot help and back off. This makes the deaf people feel small and lose confidence.
It is interesting, why? Let’s compare the differences. BDA themselves campaign MP’s. If there was a problem and we asked for help from fellow deaf community, they show respect and help each other out. Giving information, details of names and addresses to contact quite quickly. I applaud them.
Yet it is the opposite situation for the BDA. They cannot help. Why? There is plenty of BDA offices in Scotland, Glasgow, Manchester etc around the UK.
I would like to tell you something that happened. My wife was pregnant and due to give birth last December. I was angry with the hospital due to poor service and difficult problems. I searched on the internet and found the BDA website, they could help. So I made contact with them via SMS and it was perfect. Where? In Holloway, London.
When we met face to face, I explained my reasons why I was there and shared my experiences. The BDA told me that they can’t help. I asked. “what do you mean? Cant help?!” I needed to know legal information, how to go about things. I don’t know what it is like or anything about the equality act. I don’t know and wanted this information. BDA “Can’t help!” They only wanted to have a face to face brief meeting. That’s all.
This made me feel small and lose confidence. Hmmmm.
“Okay” I said… I tried to sort it out myself. Was in the newspapers etc with positive results. I realised and understood how other deaf people felt about the BDA.
Recently I went to, on 18th or 19th March, Russell Square a hotel called Inn Hotel. I paid £70 for a ticket and lots of other deaf people turned up. (He’s referring to the BDA Symposium)
Honestly, I was feeling frustrated and wanted to ask the BDA about their poor service.
We have a right, we are in the UK – a right to be ourselves and to speak. It’s allowed?! I wanted to ask a question but someone told me I could not stand and speak but had to write a letter and post it into the comments box. “What?!” I asked… “Yes, box is for BDA panel to read out the comments or questions such as “How can we improve the BDA etc” then discuss.”
That’s all! This left me feeling perplexed and wondered if that was ok as I felt it was not right.
Really, lots of deaf people sent me messages to my inbox about the BDA and that it was true the access etc is crap. In Glasgow, Manchester too. I could now really understand and empathise with them. I asked them if they were willing to make a BSL video but they felt not confident enough to sign in a video.
I understand how it feels. Did the BDA help when my baby was being born at that time? No! Who helped me to sort it out? I did it myself. With the help of BSL Act when I asked for more information. Sylvia helped me a lot via facetime.
Please remember, I am not criticising BDA or its name which is beautiful. It is the access, service and people which is spoiling it. I have to be straight to the point – it’s poor.
Where are the improvements for deaf people? Nothing. Benefits cut, lots of things being cut, campaigning is down. BDA being put on the spot and sending out letters (not clear)
Legal have power and this can be done via BDA. The British have power so you can do this yourself.
I feel if I was in their position, I could do this myself. But the BDA say no, have to follow procedure ie write a formal letter and post it. What next? After that, what? If successful, then what? It is very important for deaf people to be heard, to ask questions and speak. For the BDA to listen to the deaf people, hold discussions with them and if there is any problems, to give advice. For example, children – family protection, social workers, facing barriers etc. For the BDA to have consultations which the deaf people would be very grateful for and feel confident to sort out themselves.
If no advice, no consultations, how will deaf people manage? Will they be successful? Deaf people need to know this information and it is important for BDA staff/service to show respect for us all.
If it was the other way around and they asked for our support, from the deaf community with their campaigns ie MP’s but deaf people chose not to give their support. BDA would be really disappointed.
Honestly, I am angry.
Because BDA have a good name but they are hiding a lot of things behind scenes.
Hope all enjoy weekend with family and Half term.
A response to David’s video was provided by the CEO of BDA that anyone with concerns could email him on firstname.lastname@example.org. As he is inviting you to email him, please do so because you have an ample opportunity to be “heard”.
Having said that we still suffer from the hypocrisy of certain people in charge, this does not mean we do not appreciate what is good about this country. We need to appreciate and remember those in developing countries especially where there is evidence of corruption, bribery and lack of rights for the residents there. Those who face difficulties and challenges a hundred fold due to their disabilities. I have seen with my own eyes how their governments have neglected them and believe me, some people in this country take for granted just how lucky they are. To have roofs over their heads, warmth, comforts and food. Free NHS and plentiful medicine. I have no issues with those who want to strive and improve on what we already have in a positive sense. Yet we should not rest on our laurels. It is important to keep the people in charge in check otherwise the standards will inevitably drop. As a consequence, I have taken a dislike to people who are negative about anything and everything and argue for the sake of arguing without any constructive input. We should appreciate the fact that we can speak, without any fear.
Imagine what it would be like, if you could not express yourselves via spoken/written word or sign language?