Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Once upon a time a chicken crossed the road, why it crossed the road no one really knows. Or was It…..

To wish you a happy birthday of course!
To wish you a happy birthday of course!

Because there was a cyclist coming down his side & he didn’t want his mobile to get stolen!

To prove he wasn’t too much of a chicken to cross!

To get to the other side(!)

“BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T COOK IT!!!!” – Gordon Ramsey

To see his flat mate!

To get away from the cockerel…

>What chicken? Which road? How why? When did? Where is the cross? I need answers…!

Crossy Road.
Crossy Road, the game.

Coz de chick wanna be big star of crossy road game show…?!

To get the highest score!

To be difficult and make us question why he crossed the road in first place!

Just whisper NANDO in her ear and she will cross the road. Whether she makes it to the other side or ends up on a Nando’s plate … is open to fate…

The chicken crossed the road to get to the other side to see if there was an egg!

More to the point, which came first? The chicken or the egg?!

The egg came first actually! The chicken carried it over the line in front of him on a spoon.

Why did the egg come first? A chicken had to lay it.

If you believe the creation story, God made birds, animals etc. It does not say he made eggs so chicken definitely first. (Plus I also agree with Sara’s theory!)

I’m trying to picture how a non existent chicken is capable of laying an egg….!!

How did humans come about?? From an egg inside a human… The first human had to be created? That is why the chicken crossed the road – he was created to!

To find a soft place to lay an egg!

And because the grass is greener on the other side!

>No, he found it WASN’T greener on the other side…

So he came back in a huff!

And forgot to bring the egg!

But then the chicken was indecisive so kept going back and forwards!

And that’s how evolution occurred…. An egg left on the other side evolved into another species

Of which the egg came first!

Compiled by SJ (Sara Jae)

Oh My Cod!

Who're you gonna call??
Who you’re gonna call??

I went for one of my usual long walks along the River Thames one day, spotted this van and relatively posted this photo on Facebook, the puns that ensued was inevitable;

If you feel like a fish out of water, then the fish medic is the thing for you.

If you cannot afford an ambulance, just call Fish Medic – that’s economy!

It’s actually a clambulance!

I’d like a wormy, fungus infected, flea bitten salmon to jump right in there…

Plenty more fish in the sea.

How do they call for their own medic?

Via the Net.

You can Twitter a VAN? What does it say? “My oil is killing me?”

I was mullet whether it was a load of pollacks. I’ll stop carp-ing about and go back to my plaice.

No need to carp…. Admit it, you’re having a whale of a time by the Thames!

Don’t walk too far along the river or you’ll pull a mussel

It’s fintastic that they have their own doc.

For when you’re feeling green around the gills!!!

Poor old sole.

I’m Whaling with laughter.

Oh for cod’s sake.

Something fishy is going on here.

Without the photo evidence, I would have found the whole thing a bit… fishy!

Carp diem 🙂

Compiled by SJ (Sara Jae)

What’s Afoot?

SJ mischievously posed this question to the Tree House dwellers to gauge what kind of reaction it would receive and in true Tree House spirit, the wit and banter came alive once more.

What’s afoot?

 Afoot is for finding Lego in the dark.

It’s on the end of aleg.

 Nothing much.

The game’s afoot:

Follow your spirit, and upon this charge

Cry ‘God for Harry, England, and Saint George!’

– Henry V, Shakespeare.

It’s somewhere South of Aknee.

About 12 inches in old money.

Get ahead! Be a lert!

Come, Watson, the game is afoot…!

No s**t Sherlock!

Big changes! Positivity rules x

Afoot.
More than afoot. Afoot with love handles. Dedicated to Paul, our admin – get well soon mate! 😛

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I Can Do BSL!

Here is a list of suggested captions for this (above) picture – enjoy!

I want it all …..

Nutella galore.

Noooooo nooooo my tree has gone!

I want nuts dis big!

it’s raining nuts, hallelujah!

PLEEEEEEEEASE Santa I been good

Free as a bird!

I have no nuts, I just had my vasectomy …. ok?!

Please let there be an avalanche of nuts

Praise the Lord, bring back my nuts…

>Mama I love you, mama I care!

All I want for Christmas is you!

It’s Chrissssssstmas time!

Another British (RED) Squirrel at last…!

Photo by SJ
Photo by SJ

OMG!

A diva! Moi?

Romeo Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo?

Nuts! Whole hazel nuts!

Gimme, gimme, gimme !

Nuts glorious nuts! (Oliver ” food glorious food!)

I’m king of the WOOOORLD

Ok. I give up where’s the nuts

I can do BSL …

Whhhhhhhy?!

Did they break open…?!

Look at me, look at me…

Thank god it’s Friday!!

Let it GoooooooooOOO! I am one with the wind and SkyyyYYY!

squirrel2

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Let ’em Go by Paul Leonard

Whilst out and about enjoying the Christmas cheer, a friend came up with an idea and asked for my technical know how in making this possible. How could I possibly turn down the challenge?! So in true Tree House spirit, the day was well and truly seized albeit adding my own twist!

This video we hope will help to lift everyone’s spirits and make you smile for “A smile is free and does wonders” – to quote the founder, Sara.

On behalf of The Tree House, we would like to present our parody of “Let it go” from the film, Frozen; “Let ’em go”

Enjoy!

Please help The Tree House to stamp out any form of online abuse by not condoning it in any sense. Many thanks.

“Let ’em go” because The Tree House is positively moving onwards and upwards.

~PAL

Our Top Fifteen Pet Hates.

Quite a few people detest hearing the chalk scrape on the blackboard, my son really dislikes the sound polystyrene makes and just how it feels to the touch. Here, during a supposedly full moon which explains why some of the Tree House dwellers were stirring, listed are some of our pet hates.

1, First and foremost: Tinnitus – this is extremely draining and in some cases debilitating.

2, Negative body language – Keep your chins up luv.

3, People relentlessly tapping on our arms or shoulders – Surely once is enough?!

Do's and Don'ts by Matt Daigle
Do’s and Don’ts by Matt Daigle

4, Regional signs such as “middle fingers stirring the sky” which could mean “available” or “holiday” to others. Some deaf people think this is only deemed rude by the hearing while some deaf people also find this sign offending – Each to their own.

5, The sound of “Applause” apparently tends to drive some deaf people nuts. *Hands waving*

6, Static shocks – There are those who are full of static shocks but take pleasure in shocking others (!)

Comic Strip by Jim Davis
Comic Strip – Garfield.

7, Visual noises i.e. Feet twitching in the corner of our eyes whilst trying to watch a film or read something.

8, People adamantly tapping on the table which is ultra-loud to a deaf person due to our other senses being enhanced.

9, We might not be able to hear them but we can still smell them – Trumping and in some cases flapping!

10, The wind noise from within our cars due to the rear car window being open whilst driving as the wind vibrates on our hearing aid microphones. Who seconds wind noises?

SJ: I was once travelling back down south by coach with the kids and in the distant we spied a wind farm. My daughter seemed puzzled and asked me what they were, I explained it was a wind farm. She then asked why there was one? To which I answered most innocently “because too many people keep eating beans.” A moment later the penny dropped. The most priceless grin – ever!

Wind Recycling.
Wind Recycling.

11, The feeling of catching our fingernails, the vibrations via the blackboard or garage doors only for the paint flake off and get wedged inside our nails.

12, Not being able to cut our nails when we have broken it – which is why I now carry a nail clipper on my set of keys. Light-bulb moment.

13, The touch of the newspaper or magazine due to its texture is enough to make some deaf people break out into goose pimples and make their hands shake!

14, Wooden ice lolly and ice cream sticks. The texture and how we have to be careful not to bite on it or scrape it against our teeth to avoid the feeling, the noise it makes, the taste and the risk of splinters. The worst has to be the ones the doctors uses to look down our throats which terribly dries out our mouths.

Wooden sticks.
Wooden sticks

15, Sudden police sirens which our hearing aids amplify – Try living in Central London?!

Compiled by SJ (Sara Jae)

Happiness is the best medicine.

While the Tree House gang thought the last compilation of humorous moments was hugely entertaining, it was also proof conclusive that we can laugh at ourselves, with others so here is yet again another compilation from the members of The Tree House, for you.

Happiness is the best medicine so to make you smile and laugh, makes us happy too.

Gareth’s latest moment was when he was complimenting his wife on a very pretty dress she was wearing and expressed just how much he liked the glitter. He didn’t have his hearing aids in at the time and she mentioned the word “Seaweed”. What?! Wearing a dress made out of seaweed?

A dress that looks like it's been made out of nori seaweed.
A dress that looks like it’s been made out of nori seaweed.

It for sure was not made out of “seaweed” but “sequins”!

Eleanor also had a few moments to share and here is one that stuck out in her mind more than the rest. It was early one morning when her mum went into her room and asked her “Do you know where the jet-skis are?” She felt completely confused as they do not have and never have owned jet-skis! So, being in a rush she just said… “No”… A few days later her mum was talking to her about how the locksmith was coming the next day to change some locks, and how it was really strange how some keys had disappeared. Eleanor thought about it for a while and then said “Are the shed keys the ones that look similar to the house keys we used to have?” She had them in her room the whole time thinking they were the house keys! Jet-skis = shed keys.

In Venice, a nun rides a jet-ski.
In Venice, a nun rides a jet-ski.

A while ago Eleanor had to look for a new car due to hers needing a rather large MOT bill paid. She was talking to her mum’s boyfriend about it and he said that she shouldn’t get a Peugeot because they are really high to insure as they are made from steel. She thought this was odd, and mentioned it to her boyfriend and he too, was confused. They even googled it and nothing came up so, feeling clever she told her mum’s boyfriend that he was an idiot because cars aren’t made from steel and why that would make the insurance higher, who knows! But, he started laughing, really laughing!

He hadn’t said steel as in the metal, he said steal as in stealing things… Peugeots are higher to insure because they’re easy to steal.

Carole mentions while it is not related to deafness but her husband’s dyslexia. They were driving through the Norfolk countryside last year to their nearest town. When suddenly her husband slowed the car right down and was staring, oddly, at the side of the road. She asked “What’s wrong?” he said “Hold on”, and took the car off the next left, left again & again until they ended up driving past by the same spot. She looked around, feeling really puzzled as she could not see anything strange that would grab his attention like that yet he looked really confused! Her husband said “Why are they selling red curtains at the side of the road?”………

Red curtains
Red curtains

When Carole finally recovered from her giggling fit she managed to explain to him that it instead read Red Currants!!

Gillian remembered something else that happened to her some time ago when she went to the ENT hospital in Gray’s Inn Road, London. She was having tests done due to her dizziness and they asked her to get up and lie face down on this Perspex table for a brain scan. She was told to keep very still and not to move her head. She must have laid there for ages wondering how much longer the whole thing was going to take. In the end she couldn’t lie still any longer as it was becoming quite unpleasant not being able to see or hear anything so got up only to find the room was empty and there was no sign of the radiologist at all. She decided to stay put and waited a few moments until the radiologist came back and she said surprisingly…”Oh… you’re still here?!” She realised the radiologist must have told her she could get up and go but she never heard her!

In hindsight the radiologist should have come up to her and tapped her to let her know she had finished.

Accents came up one evening as an unexpected turn of topic. Sara expressed how they thought the north spoke properly as in “Grass, Glass, Path, Bath etc.” whereas down south they would pronounce almost every word with an extra “R” in between… “Grarse, Glarse, Parth, Barth etc.” so a few wondered how accents were applied in sign language – Regional signs. The sign for number 6 in some areas it looks very similar to the sign for “bad” so naturally we started comparing regional signs. She thought the number 15 was cheeky but not as rude as some people thought of the number 16 so definitely not going there! Friends were somewhat perplexed and wanted to know how the number 15 is signed in some areas? She explained it as if you were putting your hand up, palm facing outward, flat, then bending only the top parts of the fingers and thumb. As if trying to squeeze a…

Another regional sign for the number 15 is the open hand shake from side to side 15. Which some hearing people have remarked to as an alternative form of milkshake.

Penny dropped!

If you don’t think one handed claw squeezing is rude for the number 15, guess what the sign is for the number 30??!

Oh my days!
Oh my days!

Only joking!

You got me!
You got me!

It’s all about the context. Several signs will only look rude to a new learner or from another region until they learn the signs then it just looks like signs.

This sign makes Sara smile everytime she sees this. One could interpret this as being given permission to “let go”…. Wheeee!

Whee!....
Whee!….

Please, keep on smiling as it’s free and does wonders – it also suits you.

Thank you, for being you.

If you enjoyed reading this, you may also enjoy “A funny thing happened on the way to ENT“.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

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