Yes, You.

This is in response to a select few friends who picked up on the BBC article “Using Facebook made my anxiety worse” with Paul Allen, written by Zara Morgan.

Source.

68FE6507-5010-473D-87B5-12DB43B95157

I saw very early on how certain people would only show us, what they wanted us to see. How people used and still use, social media as a tool, to manipulate and engineer illusions. Negativity I could sometimes let pass but not when it gave cause for concern and having been able to be there for others gave me reason to remain. I know how and what some of you are experiencing… for I do see YOU. 💖

YOU have been the only reason why, I am still on social media. Sure, I have my own frustrations and my own ghosts to deal with but they’re mine and not anyone else’s to bear. I find myself having to sit on my hands sometimes, bite my lips whenever I witness one of the many forms of injustice… Sometimes I just cannot resist! 😝 I dislike being a bystander to it, for fear of inviting it. Some people find me intimidating but that’s their problem. Some people choose to ignore me, that’s once again their problem. Some people choose to be angry… let them waste their time being so. They and my ghosts should not, and do not, dictate me or my precious time. Don’t let them dictate yours.

I choose to focus on my kids because who knows where we will be, this time tomorrow. It is only those who have knocked on deaths door who understands where I truly come from, only those who have personally experienced the quagmires of depression who can relate. Why I am, who I am.

Everyone is different and are at different stages in their lives. How you choose to proceed or react, is up to YOU entirely. Let nothing influence or manipulate YOU.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. God willing.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I’d Walk Alone.

3E6F53E1-25CE-4F48-97E7-35A9C4B9FFEC

Today has been another one of those strange days, full of reflection and acceptance whilst walking amongst strangers.

Remembering the importance of self value, care and love.
The happiness from within (and not for a reason, simply because that reason can be taken away.)
How our past experiences continuously teaches us to introspect, learn from, in order to improve and grow.

Concluding once more, anyone that’s proud and honoured to be my friend, willing to walk besides me, will find a friend in me.

Otherwise, I’m quite content to walk alone.

💜

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

It’s Okay…

It’s okay…

I found out on Friday night a friend had passed away just before the summer. I was so afraid to hear more in case it confirmed my fears. It was sadly confirmed and I have had loads of wobbly moments since.

What if I could have made a difference had I not put in so much distance? Questions like that haunted me.

But now, I’m ok because best friends always say, “It’s ok, to be sad. It’s ok, to have these wobbly moments. It’s ok, to ask questions. It’s ok, to be honest. It’s ok, to say no. It’s ok, I’m always here for you.”

Don’t bottle things up and just talk. That’s always been my downfall in case I affected the other person’s mood or feelings.

A best friend doesn’t and wouldn’t mind, simply because we matter to them.

🤟🏼

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Time Out…

Time out

There is so much love in the air at this point in time that it is making me think twice, perhaps even thrice, about everything. Everyone….

Being reminded of how it feels to fall in love, being in love and thus feeling loved, is pretty hard going. Some people can shrug it off and get on with life whereas others will just crumble, from time to time.

It is okay; to crumble. It is okay, to have a cry. It is okay, to be angry. What we all need to remember is that we, each and every one of us, is to be kind to ourselves and not over think. Too many “what if’s” isn’t healthy, too much time spent ruminating, also isn’t healthy.

I find it helps to visually sort out all the thoughts and emotions into a box and pack them away. Dispatching it even. Seeing and feeling the weight fade away.

There is no such thing as a perfect person but there is and there will be, someone that is perfect for you… and me. Until then, let us reserve our hearts.

Meanwhile, do make sure to take some time out each and every day, to treat yourself. For a little dab of my favorite perfume and a mug of hot chocolate, to me, is priceless.

You deserve it and so much more.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Dearest Sara,

IMG_0929

Dearest Sara,

Having not put pen to paper for quite some time, I thought I would dedicate this perfect moment to your good self.

The way you fare in life after knocking on death’s door, will be the greatest test to overcome. Simply because, better times await you.

At first, you will not understand why you survived and feel guilty for having done so. As a result, you will appreciate and cherish life, integrity, nature’s designs but most of all, each and every waking moment even more so. At times this may hurt, all because you cannot explain or stress just how precarious life or short, time, is.

Such an experience will benefit you with more wisdom, to see through people, to expand on thinking outside the box and enable you to predict consequences. To recognise better, the evil that’s out there and the many forms it takes.

People will try their best to exploit your kindness for their own gains but you will stand tall courageously and prevail. With their disdain, they will try with all their might to turn others against you. This too, will be in vain.

Whilst life does not come with any instructions, all one can do is listen to our hearts and subsequently understand, what our elders before us, wished. Since history, tends to rhyme.

There will be times when you will feel anxious, such as your precious angels embarking on a life all of their own, anticipating the familiar faces of evil they too, will inevitably encounter. Or quite simply, due to the fact that you survived not once, not twice but three times, that something is bound to happen to you because you, technically, should not be here. Yet, you are meant to be and you will come to understand why.

There will be times when you feel such anger at ghosts of past, who chose to inflict pain and heartache upon you. Alternatively, pure frustration at people’s triviality alone. You will learn, to let it go.

There will be times when you bring sincere meaning to others with just a smile from the bottom of your heart, the kindest word or two and/or gesture – you may not always know it but this will truly make their day. You will come to realise just how vital this can be to someone else, for it’ll save you also.

Grit your teeth, sit on your hands (not too often!), remain the extremely patient, honest and considerate person you are. One who is not afraid to kick ass, either.

Take it one step, one moment, one day at a time.

Not everything is or will be as it seems. You cannot stop the (sound) waves but you can learn to surf so keep on going with the flow, for it suits you so.

Be kind to yourself yet always bear it in mind, that it is okay to say no, that it is okay to be a little bit selfish. To have some “me time”.

Trust in fate since everything and everyone that happens, is predestined. In time, the answers to your many why’s will figure, in all senses.

Don’t be discouraged, don’t be unhappy and don’t be afraid to stay true to yourself, keep the faith in who you are, why you are who you are – you will be more than fine. For you are EXCEPTIONAL, more than you will ever come to realise. You may not always feel it but people do LOVE you, your feistiness even. Those around you consider themselves honoured, lucky today to still, be graced with the pleasure of YOUR company.

With the warmest of love and best wishes, on your birthday.

Your future self,

Sara xx

Ps Never underestimate the power of a written letter. 😉

A Love Like No Other

A Mother's love

I read an article the other day that resonated with me.

Someone I know who is a gentle old soul. Her sons were gymnasts and one of them won an opportunity to tour and travel with the circus overseas, performing everywhere.

The troupe soon realised what a good life one could have overseas compared to the one they had back at home, which was extremely harsh and tough.

The prospects of returning home after a very successful stint in Canada was enough to corrupt one of the men’s minds and send him over the edge. Had he stayed in Canada and sought help there, he may not be the man he is today.

Upon returning home, his mental health gradually deteriorated even more worryingly. His family could no longer look after him and the pressure on their mother became far too great to keep the peace.

A place was found for him a coach journey some four hours long away nearer the desert sun and it was arranged he would board there in the hope that he would be cared for. If only they had known.

A cousin of the family who was free from responsibilities was able to visit him periodically to monitor him, for his auntie’s peace of mind. Gradually after what seemed to be a good spell, he noticed his overall wellbeing was fast deteriorating. He could eventually no longer speak, became deathly thin and any self-care and respect was long gone.

Genuine concerns by a sibling for their brother’s welfare soon became realised that their brother was not being looked after despite their being paid to. They had searched deeper for reviews of this institution and was horrified to discover it was rife with abuse and neglect. This family had trusted them to look after a beloved family member but were in fact misled. The sibling then alerted their mother of their dreadful discovery regarding the quality of care that was actually being provided.

She despaired, for her son who was out of her reach. She had been for a very long time, unwell. Her other children did not want their brother to return home or help to look after him except for one who comforted and supported their mother in her exasperation.

She eventually understood that it was her right as a mother if she wanted him home, much to the protest by her other children. She rose into her role and defied the majority’s decision. Her love for her son was much stronger.

The very same cousin had the task of escorting him home, whom was violently sick the entire journey. He discovered from the contents of the vomit that his cousin had been trying to live on grass. He was on his very last legs and had he not been returned to his mother, he would have surely passed.

His mother, bless her, summoned up whatever energy she could find in order to care for him with high hope that she would find her son once more. The road ahead for them both would be an extremely harsh slog.

It was discovered that he had contracted TB from his previous abode. Yet the government hospitals there were very basic, almost primitive in a sense. Family still had to care for their relatives whilst they remained in hospital so she had the added burden on top of her illness to visit at least three times a day to feed, clean and care for him.

Slowly but surely, the burden on her started to ease as he was becoming well enough to return home to be cared for. He started to gain weight, no longer looking skin and bones. Any incontinent was starting to come under control. His physical health was now starting to recover and subsequently heal. He was no longer cared for like a baby but a toddler. Nowadays, he is a boy but in a man’s body.

His mental state still has a long way to go but it is with thanks to his mother than he defeated the odds that were stacked sky high against him. It was her maternal instinct that saved him.

A mother’s love is a love like no other.

We are all someone’s baby.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Taken Out Of Context?!

context

If Simone Joseph had the decency to speak with respect or kindness in the very first place, she would not be in the public eye for her racial verbal diarrhoea which she has since admitted to and was charged with yet had the audacity to try to deflect the blame by saying it was “taken out of context”.

So not funny.

If you are going be a bully and let the poison dictate who you are – you alone are responsible for the consequences of your actions.

Sadly, this kind of abuse is all too common these days.

Islamophobia news.

Malorie Bantala, a pregnant woman kicked in stomach.

There’s no place like home.

What is a hate incident?

So many more…

If anything, mental health assessments should be ordered on such offenders.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)