I have had more than my fair share of being subjected to bullies and sociopaths in the past and here is a list I have compiled from my experiences, which could assist you in defining and determining who / what a sociopath is…
They come across as being rather charismatic but in the end, is actually quite glib.
Even though they appear so certain of themselves, they are in fact paranoid.
They have strange sexual tendency or fetish(es).
They will warm to, suck up to anyone that is currently in the limelight, thus try to be in or steal the limelight.
They tell lies only to deceive but for some, they may lie compulsively.
They are able to manipulate their lies into sounding something very much like the truth due to their confidence and assertiveness to convince and dominate others.
They are unable to feel any guilt or remorse and have complete disregard for your emotional well-being or opinions and the consequences of their actions.
They will engineer situations and manipulate people into doing what they desire through charm or aggressive means.
They, more than likely, will have hidden agendas.
They end up treating people with such disrespect and contempt especially as and when things do not go their way. Basically, they spit their dummies.
They tend to be short-tempered and at times, violent – if not most of the time.
They may mentally and / or physically abuse those closest to them.
They are rarely shy but will certainly experience a degree of trouble in suppressing their anger, impatience or annoyance.
They are incapable of holding a job or remaining in one place for long periods.
They usually work or has worked in sales.
They come across as self-centred, and will constantly post selfies for attention and compliments.
They somehow feel entitled so will be manipulative to gain such a position or authority, especially for their own gains.
They are often deluded, with notions of grandeur.
They quickly get bored so will venture elsewhere for some mental simulation. Physically, they will be spontaneous, taking risks without assessing any potential repercussions.
They will fail to keep to any social arrangements once they are comfortable with their foot in the door with a current social group and eventually, will look elsewhere for more unsuspecting victims to manipulate, bully and challenge.
They often seek approval from others and have a hard time taking criticism whether it is constructive or not.
They are two-faced and at best, hypocritical but will vehemently deny it.
The moment I realised as a very young girl that a tongue was for speaking the truth – honesty became the best policy. My maternal grandmother had this brass casting of the three wise monkeys, “See no evil, Hear no evil and Speak no evil” of which has been some comfort to me whilst growing up, to aspire to.
Here are my interpretations;
1) Mizaru, “See no evil” – our eyes are scouts for the heart. To identify when someone is engineering a sinful situation so we can refrain from certain desires of the heart and remain righteous.
2) Kikazaru, “Hear no evil” – our ears are for listening to someone else with patience and respect – attentively. Not for turning a deaf ear, listening to slander, rumours, back biting.
3) Iwazaru, “Speak no evil” – our tongues are for speaking the truth albeit respectfully – not for lies, backbiting or spreading rumours.
There is sometimes a forth monkey depicted which is Shizaru, symbolising the principle of “Do no evil”. He may be shown covering his genitals or crossing his arms. All the tenets of the proverb are about not dwelling on evil thoughts, being morally responsible and steering clear of those inclined towards impropriety.
Having been in a broken home and then packed off to boarding school despite my protests. From experience, I have learnt to to identify situations especially whenever I was being spun a lie by anyone. This is because I despise lying above anything else immoral, to me; it is the ultimate sin.
Friends and boyfriends of past have tried to deceive me yet I chose then based on the extent and context of their actions, not to react to their efforts of which were in vain to outwit / betray me except to overlook their flaws and give them another chance. Trying to remember (and looking for) the best in them without letting them know that I knew the truth and remained patient. Fortunately, there should always be a line that we draw for ourselves and once that boundary has been crossed, justified by their actions – it is time to part ways. Only then, would I reveal to them with examples that I knew of how they had lied to me.
One evening, a boyfriend became rather “busy”. My instincts told me that he was being “busy” with his ex-girlfriend so I left the matter alone and gave the benefit of the doubt until the next morning thus giving him an opportunity to be honest with me. That afternoon I decided to text him asking nicely, how his evening went with his ex-girlfriend. He was in absolute shock and could not understand just how I knew. Ever since then we have remained just friends because he was honest with me whilst showing so much respect. I for one could have wasted my time being devastated or feeling angry and betrayed – how then would that have benefitted our friendship today?
People will unfortunately try practising having one rule for themselves and another for others. This to me is another form of lying yet in the hypocritical sense. For example, someone decided to single out another and cease all contact. Just because they did not talk often or live nearby (!) and proceeded to block this person, (of whom had done absolutely nothing wrong) across all social mediums. This person upon realising, decided to stand up for themselves and find out why, (as mentioned above) only to respond to the initiator with “What about all the other people you do not know even though we have met and occasionally spoke?!”
See how one person’s deceit could dictate someone else’s emotion and day? That person could have gone on to be angry with someone else, that someone else angry with another and so on. Who is the sole cause of this ripple effect? What then, is the point of lying and being disrespectful? I consider being honest and truthful as a mark of respect, inwardly and outwardly. Therefore if someone dares to pull the wool over someone else’s eyes, they obviously do not have any morals or respect – for themselves, let alone others.
A blind person would not be able to tell if someone was dressed extravagantly or haggardly, a deaf person less able to differentiate between someone who is speaking eloquently and lazily – more than likely they would treat everyone as equals. People do tend to pass judgement and dangerous assumptions unto others by the way we dress, sound or behave when all they need to do is be patient and seek the truth. I for one am not afraid of standing up to someone in authority albeit respectfully as my equal, especially when they have abused that authority, their position or trust. We all return to the earth whatever our status and wealth so what point is there to be aloof of one, ignore one and praise another when all we need to remember to do is be respectful of all beings equal – regardless.
If only people realised just how much they are taking for granted, what creations had been given to them whilst forming as a foetus and is being granted still. Sadly, people choose to consciously lie, abuse and take advantage to this day. I can only hope they will realise the errors of their ways, of which all their actions will amount to the last straw that breaks the camel’s back and they will accept the consequences of their actions – for which they alone are responsible.
My conscience is clear – is yours? 🙂
Please, do not take your sight, hearing or your tongue (or anything else!) for granted…