My 11 year old daughter stopped me early this afternoon whilst shopping and asked me if she could give HER change to this elderly homeless man who looked quite sad, I explained that it was hers to give – I even gave her a bit more loose change. She smiled and ran up to him, handing over her change. She ran back to me, glowing and looking satisfied. I then looked to him in the distance and put up my hand to acknowledge him, also with a smile.
Walking home, she spoke of how powerful a smile can be. How he tranformed, smiling back at her and gratefully thanked her about ten times! Bless her cottons… I explained to her that she most probably made his day. She understood then, just how much my favourite saying means to me…
“Keep on smiling, for it is free and does wonders.”
It suits too. 😊
A drop of kindness goes a very long way but best of all, it does not hurt.
The moment I realised as a very young girl that a tongue was for speaking the truth – honesty became the best policy. My maternal grandmother had this brass casting of the three wise monkeys, “See no evil, Hear no evil and Speak no evil” of which has been some comfort to me whilst growing up, to aspire to.
Here are my interpretations;
1) Mizaru, “See no evil” – our eyes are scouts for the heart. To identify when someone is engineering a sinful situation so we can refrain from certain desires of the heart and remain righteous.
2) Kikazaru, “Hear no evil” – our ears are for listening to someone else with patience and respect – attentively. Not for turning a deaf ear, listening to slander, rumours, back biting.
3) Iwazaru, “Speak no evil” – our tongues are for speaking the truth albeit respectfully – not for lies, backbiting or spreading rumours.
There is sometimes a forth monkey depicted which is Shizaru, symbolising the principle of “Do no evil”. He may be shown covering his genitals or crossing his arms. All the tenets of the proverb are about not dwelling on evil thoughts, being morally responsible and steering clear of those inclined towards impropriety.
Having been in a broken home and then packed off to boarding school despite my protests. From experience, I have learnt to to identify situations especially whenever I was being spun a lie by anyone. This is because I despise lying above anything else immoral, to me; it is the ultimate sin.
Friends and boyfriends of past have tried to deceive me yet I chose then based on the extent and context of their actions, not to react to their efforts of which were in vain to outwit / betray me except to overlook their flaws and give them another chance. Trying to remember (and looking for) the best in them without letting them know that I knew the truth and remained patient. Fortunately, there should always be a line that we draw for ourselves and once that boundary has been crossed, justified by their actions – it is time to part ways. Only then, would I reveal to them with examples that I knew of how they had lied to me.
One evening, a boyfriend became rather “busy”. My instincts told me that he was being “busy” with his ex-girlfriend so I left the matter alone and gave the benefit of the doubt until the next morning thus giving him an opportunity to be honest with me. That afternoon I decided to text him asking nicely, how his evening went with his ex-girlfriend. He was in absolute shock and could not understand just how I knew. Ever since then we have remained just friends because he was honest with me whilst showing so much respect. I for one could have wasted my time being devastated or feeling angry and betrayed – how then would that have benefitted our friendship today?
People will unfortunately try practising having one rule for themselves and another for others. This to me is another form of lying yet in the hypocritical sense. For example, someone decided to single out another and cease all contact. Just because they did not talk often or live nearby (!) and proceeded to block this person, (of whom had done absolutely nothing wrong) across all social mediums. This person upon realising, decided to stand up for themselves and find out why, (as mentioned above) only to respond to the initiator with “What about all the other people you do not know even though we have met and occasionally spoke?!”
See how one person’s deceit could dictate someone else’s emotion and day? That person could have gone on to be angry with someone else, that someone else angry with another and so on. Who is the sole cause of this ripple effect? What then, is the point of lying and being disrespectful? I consider being honest and truthful as a mark of respect, inwardly and outwardly. Therefore if someone dares to pull the wool over someone else’s eyes, they obviously do not have any morals or respect – for themselves, let alone others.
A blind person would not be able to tell if someone was dressed extravagantly or haggardly, a deaf person less able to differentiate between someone who is speaking eloquently and lazily – more than likely they would treat everyone as equals. People do tend to pass judgement and dangerous assumptions unto others by the way we dress, sound or behave when all they need to do is be patient and seek the truth. I for one am not afraid of standing up to someone in authority albeit respectfully as my equal, especially when they have abused that authority, their position or trust. We all return to the earth whatever our status and wealth so what point is there to be aloof of one, ignore one and praise another when all we need to remember to do is be respectful of all beings equal – regardless.
If only people realised just how much they are taking for granted, what creations had been given to them whilst forming as a foetus and is being granted still. Sadly, people choose to consciously lie, abuse and take advantage to this day. I can only hope they will realise the errors of their ways, of which all their actions will amount to the last straw that breaks the camel’s back and they will accept the consequences of their actions – for which they alone are responsible.
My conscience is clear – is yours? 🙂
Please, do not take your sight, hearing or your tongue (or anything else!) for granted…
Whom may have lost their ways and can no longer recognise what should be the norm as in how to live and who to be… Countries that accept, at times encouraging, binge drinking, pedophilia, injustice, promiscuity, adultery, drug use and all the other immoral sinful acts of degradation as the norm. Sadly, what hope(s) will one have?
Who do not question, fulfilling a deeper knowledge on whether such an act is righteous, beneficial, moral, logical, fair or a case of blindly following the (m)asses due to peer pressure and / or cultural traditions.
Who wish to be a better person. Please, remain kind, patient, humble, respectful and compassionate in all senses. Reacting angrily or seeking retribution would only cause further damage. Be tolerant and leave them be.
For the sake of bringing peace to one’s mental and emotional well-being.
Who potentially has the opportunity of discovering the religion of Islam.
The report narrated by al-Tirmidhi (5207) and Ibn Maajah (4032), which says that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The believer who mixes with people and patiently bears their annoyance will have a greater reward than the believer who does not mix with people and patiently bear their annoyance.” (Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 2035).
Al-Sindi said in his footnote on Ibn Maajah (2/493): “This hadeeth indicates that the one who is patient and mixes with people is better than the one who isolates himself.”
Al-San’aani said in Subul al-Salaam (4/416): “This indicates that mixing with people whereby one enjoins what is good and forbids what is evil and deals with them in a good manner is better than keeping away from them and not putting up with mixing with them.”
I decided to open this post by asking “What is wrong with the people of the world?” because it was how the Prophet used to patiently address the people of his community in general, respectfully, whenever there was an issue as not to single out a person thus avoiding bringing any embarrassment or any ill-fated consequences. It is also a test of good manners to be patient, with the bad ones. In addition, because it is a characteristic I can more or less relate to albeit at times, people can be rather testing.