Yes, You.

This is in response to a select few friends who picked up on the BBC article “Using Facebook made my anxiety worse” with Paul Allen, written by Zara Morgan.

Source.

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I saw very early on how certain people would only show us, what they wanted us to see. How people used and still use, social media as a tool, to manipulate and engineer illusions. Negativity I could sometimes let pass but not when it gave cause for concern and having been able to be there for others gave me reason to remain. I know how and what some of you are experiencing… for I do see YOU. 💖

YOU have been the only reason why, I am still on social media. Sure, I have my own frustrations and my own ghosts to deal with but they’re mine and not anyone else’s to bear. I find myself having to sit on my hands sometimes, bite my lips whenever I witness one of the many forms of injustice… Sometimes I just cannot resist! 😝 I dislike being a bystander to it, for fear of inviting it. Some people find me intimidating but that’s their problem. Some people choose to ignore me, that’s once again their problem. Some people choose to be angry… let them waste their time being so. They and my ghosts should not, and do not, dictate me or my precious time. Don’t let them dictate yours.

I choose to focus on my kids because who knows where we will be, this time tomorrow. It is only those who have knocked on deaths door who understands where I truly come from, only those who have personally experienced the quagmires of depression who can relate. Why I am, who I am.

Everyone is different and are at different stages in their lives. How you choose to proceed or react, is up to YOU entirely. Let nothing influence or manipulate YOU.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. God willing.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Surfers Paradise

I would like to seize the day and contemplate out-loud whether there is a justified fairness in the eligibility rules for a freedom pass, regarding those with varying degrees of hearing loss.

Except, what I am about to say regarding Cochlear Implant users may offend them and if that turns out to be the case, I sincerely apologise in advance, for being honest.

Those with a profound or severe hearing loss (like myself) cannot hear very well at all, with or without any hearing aids, are eligible for what Londoners call a “Freedom Pass”; this is a travel permit scheme which allows the named holder to “surf” London using the public transport system.

However, there are those who are categorized as having a mild form of hearing loss and if their range of loss does not meet, the minimum required – they are deemed ineligible for a freedom pass. One can work out the reasoning behind that since they may have enough residual hearing to, sort of, ‘get by’ without any hearing aids yet whilst supported by hearing aids they could be, almost, on a par to a hearing person. Nevertheless, the stress of travelling remains albeit for almost all of us since whatever announcements are broadcasted, not even hearing people can comprehend.

Moving onto (successful) cochlear implants users – A CI is considered the most superior hearing aid of all; this will enable the user to hear extremely well and ever so clearly, once again, more or less being on a par to a hearing person.

Why then, do those who are not eligible, have to miss out on the benefits of a freedom pass when there are CI users who can potentially hear better than them, remain eligible for a freedom pass? Go figure…

Inevitably, there will be those who throw their arms up into the air in protest, demanding the same level of benefits since they feel, they too should not have to pay to use the public transport system.

Above all, an unfortunate fact remains. That almost each (if not all) Travel Concessionary Department(s) has not acquired the necessary experience or relevant qualifications, in order to assist them adequately with reading audiograms or differentiating between the pros and cons. This inexperience does not help them or us, at all, so how can they truly appreciate the injustice that exits, in their rules of eligibility.

Thank you for your time and patience.

Rant Over 🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I Am Tired Of…

Here I compile some of the frustrations the deaf community feels, sometimes on a daily basis. With injections of humour here and there 🙂

I am tired of seeing a phone number on parking ticket machines because I cannot use the phone to pay.

I am tired of talking lifts. Just wish they would shut up! Never mind the telephone in the lift with the number to ring in case of a breakdown or emergency! Duh!

I am tired of being treated like an idiot by hearing people.

I am tired of “I’ll tell you later” but it never materialises!

I am tired of intercoms.

I am tired of being judged.

Judge not lest ye be judged.
Judge not lest ye be judged.

I am tired of the constant tinnitus in a whole world of its own.

I am tired of being patronised.

I am tired of people having a go as bullies.

I am tired of being the odd one out! (to which SJ responded “We can all be odd together!”)

I am tired of hearing the words “It doesn’t matter!” Of course it matters.

I am tired of having to stand up for justice.

I am tired of Mondays!

I am tired of people being all talk and no action.

I am tired of not being taken seriously.

I am tired of thinking people are talking to themselves (bonkers) when they are actually on hands free mobile!

bonkers

I am tired of waiting for Channel 4 on demand getting their act together and providing subtitles for iPad!

I am tired of people manipulating others for their own gains.

I am tired of people saying “You are not missing anything!”

I am tired of being left out.

I am tired of a particular job requirement “Must be able to use the phone.”

I am tired of people moaning and being so negative.

I am tired of being a second class citizen.

I am tired of seeing other (deaf) people telling others what to do.

I am tired of background music when actors are talking.

Cue background music: Doooooe – a deer a female deer, Raaaaay, a drop of golden suuuuun, Meeeeee – a name I call myseelf, Faaaaaar – a long long way to ruuuuuun, Seeeeew – a needle puling threeeeeeead, Laaaaaaaaa – a note to follow soooooo, Teeeeeeea – a drink with Jam and breeeeead!

And that’ll bring us back to doe oh oh oh! Hence forth comes the musical tinnitus.

I am tired of not being able to understand what any train or plane announcements are saying – whether to panic yet or not!

keep-calm-and-eat-chocolate-1004
The answer to everything!

I am tired of people’s attitudes – always complaining – they need to consider how lucky they are to live in the UK with a decent life….

I am tired of always being the last to understand or be informed. Tut tut.

I am tired of seeing online forms asking for a telephone number but no space to put the full type-talk number in so I have to remove 18002 from my number then I get hearing people phoning!!!!!

I am tired of not being able to go to the movies anytime I wish.

I am tired of the radio whenever they broadcast shows concerning deafness or deaf people.

I am not tired of kicking ass!

I am tired of always having to strain my eyes more to concentrate on lip reading.

I am tired of feeling belittled.

I am tired of segregation, exclusion and discrimination.

I am tired of people asking to speak to me on the phone when they have been told I cannot hear on the phone but still, they insist to speak to me on the phone?!

No need to shout!
No need to shout!

I am tired of seeing how quickly people are so willing to follow the flock.

I am tired of people thinking they can pass on skills from someone who has just “attended” a (deaf awareness/sign language) course – it just does not work like that….

I am tired of finding out things in the office then being told they’ve all known for ages and as usual I am the last to know!

am tired of the lack of inclusion and inaccessibility in today’s day and age.

I am tired of my mobile fire text alert (testing every week) going off at least half an hour before the real fire test goes off.

I am tired of being abused by egocentric manic d/Deaf ( & hearing) people.

I am tired of being told to “Get on with it” when that is what we have been doing everyday?!

I am tired of not being able to switch off at night time!! (as a hearing dweller commented because the deaf are lucky in being able to turn off our hearing aids – ahhh silence is golden! Oh yes just rubbing it in….)

I am tired of the bloody answerphone and not understanding a word said….

I am tired full stop lol – 24/7 campaigning is a hard slog.

I am tired of deaf politics and political correctness gone mad and madder and even madder!

I am tired of having to stay strong for so long.

I am tired of all the injustice in this world – stop the planet, I want to get off! (ah you don’t – you’d miss all the fun!” as another dweller tried to persuade SJ)

Wait for me!!
Wait for meee!

Thank you to all who contributed – very much appreciated x

~ SJ (Sara Jae)