Deafness Blues

Challenges ahead

I was reminded today just how hard it can be, to be deaf.
An ATM was hungry and gobbled my bank card – not that anything was wrong with my card or account. Stupid (Link) machine played up. Arse.
Panicked a little as I had both X & X with me. I looked at Y in despair and said “My card is gone.” He also knew it was the machine and not my card cos I’m good that way 😜
Banks were closed… tried calling a number via my phone but I’d no credit. I’ve the minutes!! But not credit to call their rates… my money was in the bank. My card was in the machine.
Double arse!
Y’s luckily has dual SIM cards so he could use one of them to call the emergency line with.
Braced for hassles because he was speaking on my behalf.
“I need her to speak on the phone”
“She’s deaf, she cannot hear on the phone.”
Five mins later, I was asked to say my DOB into thin air, phone next to my lips.
How surreal.
Then my address.
Spoke to the ghost again and pushed away the phone. How uncomfortable that was yet it had to be done.
Bearing fraud in mind, card was stopped and a new card ordered.
X looked at me the n amazement, “What if you couldn’t speak clearly enough?!”
A night of despair and undue stress would have been the order of the day otherwise.
Gratitude overcame me and thanked Y for his help.
How frustrating.
For us all.

Treble arse.

~ SJ Sara Jae)

Update: There is no need to use Signvideo (which is only available with several banks) or Typetalk because downloading a mobile banking app will do the job. And then some.

That Helpless Feeling…

Times like tonight I wished I could hear so much better (am experiencing temporary further loss in one ear) and communicate clearer.

There was this elderly (African) woman sitting on the steps of the train station, bawling her eyes out – clearly experiencing a lot of despair. I sympathised with her straight away albeit from a very short distant – I wanted to so much ask her if she was okay and if she had someone / somewhere to go to.

However, I knew I would not be able to understand her and I did not want to cause her any more stress. On the other hand, my daughter too so I proceeded to take my daughter to the athletics club and if the lady was still there when I returned, I would then assess the situation again.

Alas, she was not there…

I can only hope she is okay and sincerely apologise for not being able to do more. For I know just how much a helping hand can seem like the light at the end of the tunnel.

helpless

My intentions were there…

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

With Age Comes Wisdom

Peace

Reflecting upon last Friday’s massacre in Paris and seeing how the whole world has taken notice and shown their support, it will inevitably frustrate those who have lost loved ones in Palestine, those who were banned from going to mosques, and so on. They are innocent people too, are they not? Where is their voice, their support?

The reason why such a despicable attack was carried out is because these men were (mentally) young, impressionable and frustrated at the French (and the western world) for their hypocrisy and responibilties in taking innocent lives – elsewhere.

If only they had not been so frustrated or impatient, in time they would have realised it is wrong to take innocent lives, especially that of women and children. They clearly misunderstood the true meaning of Islam and what it stands for which is peace, patience, humility and tolerance but understood what they were learnt, on their own terms. Distorted and fuelled by their anger at the hypocrisy of the western world.

I have seen boisterous young men do whatever they want because their mind has been set to it whereas I have seen other aggressive young men become wise with knowledge and patience.

To retaliate with violence (especially where a war in any sense ensues) is so not the answer.

With respect comes peace… With age comes wisdom.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Running Free…

During my childhood, I would play “Tag” with my school friends and run away from all those who tried to catch me but could not. They would be the ones who nicknamed me ‘The Cheetah’. It was then the school first noticed my running skills and encouraged my continued love for it.

Football is also another favourite because I could run with or to the ball and score. Netball was a bit of a tease, as one could not run when in possession of the ball, otherwise we would be “Travelling” and ordered to stand by. Hockey is also another favourite – whacking that ball so hard and then chasing after it unless it hit the rival team member’s shins of which on one occasion it hit the exact same spot three times by yours truly.

Athletics? Mamma mia, pure racing heaven. Even my children are following my example by attending athletic clubs. I have to admit though; Cross Country is another one of my favourites, as I loved it at school as well as nowadays. Our year’s football boots would sink into the mud and they would all be laughing, trying to pull one another out. The woody smell of the forest, pert fresh air and Mother Nature against the refreshing rain would entice me to leave the others behind to their antics, walking and talking the trail. I could then, finally get some time alone, to be me and just cherish running free…

At present, I still love to run free yet there is another complete set of reasons for running so. Since I have a very high pain constitution, the pain barrier once reached helps me to feel alive once more. It also stamps out some of the emotional shit and relieves some of the frustrations. However, perhaps most importantly of all, while I am running, I am able to forget about all the people who chose to hurt me. Some relief is better than none at all, even if it is just for an hour or so.

Here I share, a short poem I wrote several years ago whilst on one of my beloved runs. Enjoy 🙂

Frosty Dew Upon Blades Of Green.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Misplaced, Lost & Stolen.

Over the past month, my father has been extremely patient since an order of his via Amazon was misplaced / lost, by one of their couriers. I have been discreetly impressed with his composure thus far however I cannot help but feel that he keeps being taken advantage of, keeps being pushed aside, keeps being misunderstood and I am more than certain that he is feeling extremely frustrated. How do I know? Because I can feel it too.

I have recently been trying to support him with his English via emails to enable him to express himself clearer, to Amazon, the market seller and DHL. The bigger picture gives me cause for concern as I am realising just how serious the missing package is proving. All my father wants now as a month has passed, is a refund for his amazon order, a Sony smartwatch which has been lost or rather, misplaced by DHL (who has a contract with Amazon) or has been stolen by one “A Kisson” who intercepted and signed for the package.

A DHL employee must have allowed the package to be signed over to someone entirely different from what was named on the package (my father) and to an entirely different address. Potentially, a crime has been committed of stealing and / or working with a criminal gang or is it plain incompetency?! The police of course, have since been made aware of the investigation carried out by DHL who say their findings from their CCTV is inconclusive and the package is simply “lost” yet is adamant the seller has to refund my father. The investigation carried out so far by DHL is somewhat unsatisfactory and further advice will be sought from the police in due course.

It is such a shame that people seem to keep overlooking the fact that the parcel has been delivered already albeit to the wrong address/person as indicated on the web link via DHL. It is also clear that the Amazon market seller is unwilling to pay the refund since the package was “delivered” but one has to remember that the package was misplaced, relatively lost by DHL – potentially stolen by “A Kisson” who did not return it or forward it on, out of honesty. Whose responsibility is it then, to refund my father? When all they seem to want to do is, shift the responsibility…

Trying to enforce his rights as a consumer since he did not receive his order is proving rather yet he continues to wait in anticipation for some good news by way of a refund.

You’ve got (no) mail.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

An update:

Since publishing this 19 hours ago…

I have asked DHL what they will be doing to prevent this from happening again in the future as this is costing DHL/Amazon money. to prevent condoning and allowing their staff to deliver and hand over packages to other persons not named on said packages. I suspect they know whom the staff member was and where the package was delivered but due to confidentiality, they cannot share that information yet they can do so with the police.

As the Amazon seller was unwilling to pay out a refund since the package was “delivered” via DHL, my father has finally been given the opportunity by Amazon to file a claim to recover his lost funds and an email address for the police to contact them on – in order for the police to obtain further (personal?) details and information to assist them with, in their investigation. A member of staff from DHL has potentially assisted in a crime – whereby they allowed a package to be stolen by the wrongful recipient.

I would like to show gratitude towards Michele from the DHL customer relations department for her time and patience throughout.

And on that note, I can only hope my father’s trust and faith in the postal system will be restored – in time.

Update:

28/07/2015… DHL has finally caved in and offered my father a full refund for the package they misplaced, lost and enabled someone else to steal. Result!

Que Sera, Sera

Time is precious yet it flies.

Soul surfing the past few days has been the desired effect upon reading a very thought-provoking book. As always, there is a balance – in everything around us. Except there is a balance amongst the people of today that has been giving me some cause for concern.

In trying to be kind always, ignoring certain traits as not to be critical, negative or be accused of anything false, doing right by all has made me vulnerable to certain characters of whom I am extremely grateful to. For showing me who not to be or who to become and especially, for helping me to appreciate the sincere and finer beings today.

Yet, why do I still feel such a noticeable degree of sadness when other people’s negativity and their undesirable characteristics is not my problem but solely theirs? Does this boil down to the fact that I cherish life so much more and know from experience just how relatively short it can be. Alternatively, because I can ascertain between what is trivial when to others such triviality is apparently their whole world? On the other hand, is it because I can sense the evilness influencing the people amongst us so relatively, feeling helpless in stopping it from taking hold of them thus the anticipated engineered situations? All of the above?

If they are so determined to be, who they are then just let them be. Their own shortcomings are ones they have to be responsible for and therefore, they cannot displace their blame unto others.

Que sera, sera.

The one vitally most important fact to remember is that I am no longer allowing these characters, these feelings of sadness and frustration to dictate the valuable time I have left, to appreciate my loved and cherished ones in the best and righteous manner possible. For time is precious.

Positivity rules!

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Never Look Down on Someone Unless You Are Helping Them Up.

The moment I read Teresa Garraty’s article on Limping Chicken “Is it time for deaf people to be a little less angry?” I knowingly smiled. I felt she made her point which in my eyes, from my own more than fair share of experience, was justified.

Her article very bravely made light of the facts around us because: “it is relatively true and reminds people not to take things so seriously. Not to be so immersed and concentrated. Not to be fighting all the time. It is not directed at people who campaign tirelessly but at the attitude within societies that give off those vibes of us not being a welcoming and positive community which is in turn misleading them?” As I gave my response on the back of it amongst other rather emotive feedback and watched some bitterness simmering which once again only confirmed Teresa’s whole point?

I concluded, “I just think if we come across as “angry” we won’t be heard but seen as just that. I can see her points from being on other teams and since I left those I can see those attributes which I have shrugged off as I do not want to be seen as demanding or “angry” but as welcoming and positive. Which would make inroads more? Being welcoming or being “angry” which is how hearing society is perceiving us? Hence why I said it’s misleading them because we aren’t angry. Some only appear angry. Most do react as though they are angry.’”

“When anger rises, think of the consequences.” – Confucius

With actions comes consequences: relatively soon after her initial supposedly “controversial” article, Teresa followed up with what she meant by her angry deaf people article to explain in depth, apologising to those she did not intend to cause any offence to, which I thought was admirable of her because members of the public chose to take offence? I was very concerned to learn that she was bullied as a result of her tongue in cheek article. This was sadly inevitable knowing how society behaves, yet it could have been avoided if people within the deaf community had their sense of humour about them. But perhaps their true colours were exposed instead? Who knows. I personally think Teresa should have been warned of potential back-lash from the more experienced writers and contributors but there is only so much people can help others with. Out of a negative, comes a positive. Teresa, in my eyes, is now wiser and more experienced regarding people’s ways.

Nowadays when someone reacts angrily, I am instantly reminded of Teresa’s article and once again smile. I know for a fact a friend of mine is on guard with the article ready to present before the offending party. That is who he is but for me, I so just know it is going to wind them up even more. ‘Tis best to let things be. Why? Because we can. There is no point in dwelling over an iota of bitterness because that iota is only going to grow into an ounce, which in time will weigh tons; becoming overbearing and diseasing your mind along with your soul. Paranoia will also creep in which one will eventually pass onto those around them. Deal with it.

“There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help and what they cannot.” – Plato

Lone campaigners have the passion and desire to see change out of frustration, due to the pace or finances others impose. This is highly admirable because it is a voluntary action which means sacrificing valuable personal time and sweat for a cause they believe in – I pay respect to each and every one who find it in themselves to be subjected to intense passion and genuine interest from the bottom of their hearts. It frustrates me still, to see “friends” patting each other’s backs behind the scenes. It is happening everywhere, the most blindingly obvious has to be the government who more or less went to school with one another.

We have seen several hardened and angry members enter the Tree House who over time have mellowed wonderfully and stayed on, with their sense of humour, trying to resist the urge to come out and joke along. Naturally there will always be one or two who lose their footing along the way but since people know how it feels to be bullied, isolated, singled out, put down and how it hurts to be kicked whilst down after so long, it has automatically become second nature to us to help them up on their way again. It is what you, the people are making it.

It is always healthy to exercise our free speech as nature intended, within reason and respect, in order to teach others. In the past I have been dictated to, to not say this, to not post that, to delete this, to remove that especially when what I said or had done in the first place was justified. How else will people learn, reflect upon, see things and others for what/who they truly are? There is always a balance and only a wise, experienced person will know when to control themselves.

“Never look down on someone unless you are helping them up”

– is another favourite quote of mine.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)