Carried By Your Love

 

Heart at the human hands

“Sensitive people are the most genuine and honest people you will ever meet. There is nothing they won’t tell you about themselves if they trust your kindness. However, the moment you betray them, reject them or devalue them, they will end the friendship. They live with guilt and constant pain over unresolved situations and misunderstandings. They are tortured souls that are not able to live with hatred or being hated. This type of person needs the most love anyone can give them because their soul has been constantly bruised by others. However, despite the tragedy of what they have to go through in life, they remain the most compassionate people worth knowing and the ones that often become activists for the broken-hearted, forgotten and the misunderstood. They are angels with broken wings that only fly when loved.”

~ Shannon L. Alder

This quote truly stopped me in my tracks today, thank you my friends, for carrying me – you know who you are. 🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I Miss You…

If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would have told you, that I loved you.

Then again, if you truly respected or loved me in return, you would not have kicked me whilst I was down, exploited and stabbed me in the back or expressed any disdain. To think, I would never have done any wrong by you, or anyone else.

Not a day goes by when I do not think of you, or wonder how you are, hoping that you are okay. Most importantly, if you are happy since happiness is all I ever wish(ed) for, for you. Then and now.

Losing the best of my friends over the past few years has been an extremely cathartic experience but it has not come without any consequences as a result, of your actions and choices. Due to the manner you behaved in, God only knows whether in the future, I would give you a second chance.

I thank you as well as the others, for showing me who not to be.

Yet despite your flaws, I miss you… Still.

All my love, more than you realise.

Then. Now. Always.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Where Would It All End?

An extremely thorny subject for me to discuss however, I want to try to help warn girls out there against those who may try to use such tactics,that are basically, forms of sexual exploitation.

What I find most disturbing is that this form of sexual exploitation can occur at any age but perhaps the younger they are, the more vulnerable. However, adults are victims too, without realising it.

How many times has a person be it a friend or online asked you for a photo of yourself? This is otherwise known as ‘Sexting’. They will send you a photo of themselves, and pester you for a photo of yourself. You refuse to send one yet the pressure increases in their coercion tactics because they have sent you several and declare it is only fair you send them one in return. One fully clothed innocent photo will only give way to the next, and the next, and the next… They see their chance in this test of theirs and seize that path in exploiting you further. Where would it all end?

They ask to meet up with you, make you their best friend, their rock. Tell you they like you and make the first move, engineering a sense of love and happiness. Despite your being so guarded due to past experiences and fears of being hurt yet again– they realise this and reassure you they are not like that, tricking you into bringing down your defensive walls. They eventually enter your heart with their charms and constant attention. The intimacy is gradually geared up, making you believe it is all consensual. Any doubts are swayed by illusions and their desire to control and dominate you. They may expect favours or sex in return, without you having any immediate recognition. Except, once they are satisfied and no longer have any need for you, their true colours are shown.

Where would it all end? I ask once more. In heartbreak, of course but the worst kind ever. Weighed down even more so by the losses of confidence, appetites, faith, trust and heightened fear of people – especially those in authority. Depression, withdrawal and mood swings. Disliking shows of affection or invasions of personal space such as being hugged or touched once more, simply because they cannot handle it – it becomes too much. Loss of sleep and/or nightmares. Increasing levels of frustrations and resistance – people are kept at a distance and a degree of aggressiveness is displayed when any personal connections are attempted in order to push them further away. One may even turn to drugs, or more having had potentially their souls destroyed by being built up to mean something so special only to be trampled upon.

These are some of the warning signs associated with not just sexual exploitation and grooming but unfortunately the broader spectrum of exploitation in abuse or neglect also.

Be strong, do not be afraid to speak up or report people for their actions and the consequences of which they are responsible for. My only regret is that I let far too much time pass before I found the confidence and courage to be honest, with myself and others. I most certainly am not willing to lie or cover for any one else.

Please, keep your wits about you and guard your virtues 🙂

Time is the best medicine.
Time is the best healer.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

My Jolly Sailor Bold

For quite some time now, I have wanted to capture this scene since discussing it with an old school friend of mine a few years ago based on our deeper interpretation of it, depicting certain actions.

jollysailorbold
Turning on the charm…

For example, the lengths anyone will go to, to engineer and exploit someone only for them to turn monstrous nearing the end or after their conquest(s) is sadly, all too common these days.

However, that is another whole blog post, but never fret; there is a message from yours truly, right at the very end of the scene! 😉

If one is willing to trash you in any sense without any regards to your feelings or consequences , go fish elsewhere. Hence, the message. 🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)