Deaf Mental Health On Social Media.

If you want to learn sign language or needed an interpreter for an appointment, would you settle for someone who knows only the basics and perhaps a little more? You would not because you would want a qualified sign language tutor or a registered interpreter – right? So that you could be fully confident of what you were being taught / told.

Then why are people (especially the deaf) sharing very personal videos about their mental health issues and sharing them to a secret group, run by an admin team and members that are NOT qualified to relatively advise?

I from personal experience appreciate that friendly support can be therapeutic and is better than nothing but it’s potentially dangerous in such a social media group. Thank you, but no thank you. I’ll stick to sites provided by qualified counsellors.

Please view a previous post of mine which also relates to mental health therapy, the deaf way. 

Vent given. ☺️

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Yes, You.

This is in response to a select few friends who picked up on the BBC article “Using Facebook made my anxiety worse” with Paul Allen, written by Zara Morgan.

Source.

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I saw very early on how certain people would only show us, what they wanted us to see. How people used and still use, social media as a tool, to manipulate and engineer illusions. Negativity I could sometimes let pass but not when it gave cause for concern and having been able to be there for others gave me reason to remain. I know how and what some of you are experiencing… for I do see YOU. 💖

YOU have been the only reason why, I am still on social media. Sure, I have my own frustrations and my own ghosts to deal with but they’re mine and not anyone else’s to bear. I find myself having to sit on my hands sometimes, bite my lips whenever I witness one of the many forms of injustice… Sometimes I just cannot resist! 😝 I dislike being a bystander to it, for fear of inviting it. Some people find me intimidating but that’s their problem. Some people choose to ignore me, that’s once again their problem. Some people choose to be angry… let them waste their time being so. They and my ghosts should not, and do not, dictate me or my precious time. Don’t let them dictate yours.

I choose to focus on my kids because who knows where we will be, this time tomorrow. It is only those who have knocked on deaths door who understands where I truly come from, only those who have personally experienced the quagmires of depression who can relate. Why I am, who I am.

Everyone is different and are at different stages in their lives. How you choose to proceed or react, is up to YOU entirely. Let nothing influence or manipulate YOU.

If it’s meant to be, it’ll be. God willing.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

I’d Walk Alone.

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Today has been another one of those strange days, full of reflection and acceptance whilst walking amongst strangers.

Remembering the importance of self value, care and love.
The happiness from within (and not for a reason, simply because that reason can be taken away.)
How our past experiences continuously teaches us to introspect, learn from, in order to improve and grow.

Concluding once more, anyone that’s proud and honoured to be my friend, willing to walk besides me, will find a friend in me.

Otherwise, I’m quite content to walk alone.

💜

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

It’s Okay…

It’s okay…

I found out on Friday night a friend had passed away just before the summer. I was so afraid to hear more in case it confirmed my fears. It was sadly confirmed and I have had loads of wobbly moments since.

What if I could have made a difference had I not put in so much distance? Questions like that haunted me.

But now, I’m ok because best friends always say, “It’s ok, to be sad. It’s ok, to have these wobbly moments. It’s ok, to ask questions. It’s ok, to be honest. It’s ok, to say no. It’s ok, I’m always here for you.”

Don’t bottle things up and just talk. That’s always been my downfall in case I affected the other person’s mood or feelings.

A best friend doesn’t and wouldn’t mind, simply because we matter to them.

🤟🏼

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Dearest Sara,

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Dearest Sara,

Having not put pen to paper for quite some time, I thought I would dedicate this perfect moment to your good self.

The way you fare in life after knocking on death’s door, will be the greatest test to overcome. Simply because, better times await you.

At first, you will not understand why you survived and feel guilty for having done so. As a result, you will appreciate and cherish life, integrity, nature’s designs but most of all, each and every waking moment even more so. At times this may hurt, all because you cannot explain or stress just how precarious life or short, time, is.

Such an experience will benefit you with more wisdom, to see through people, to expand on thinking outside the box and enable you to predict consequences. To recognise better, the evil that’s out there and the many forms it takes.

People will try their best to exploit your kindness for their own gains but you will stand tall courageously and prevail. With their disdain, they will try with all their might to turn others against you. This too, will be in vain.

Whilst life does not come with any instructions, all one can do is listen to our hearts and subsequently understand, what our elders before us, wished. Since history, tends to rhyme.

There will be times when you will feel anxious, such as your precious angels embarking on a life all of their own, anticipating the familiar faces of evil they too, will inevitably encounter. Or quite simply, due to the fact that you survived not once, not twice but three times, that something is bound to happen to you because you, technically, should not be here. Yet, you are meant to be and you will come to understand why.

There will be times when you feel such anger at ghosts of past, who chose to inflict pain and heartache upon you. Alternatively, pure frustration at people’s triviality alone. You will learn, to let it go.

There will be times when you bring sincere meaning to others with just a smile from the bottom of your heart, the kindest word or two and/or gesture – you may not always know it but this will truly make their day. You will come to realise just how vital this can be to someone else, for it’ll save you also.

Grit your teeth, sit on your hands (not too often!), remain the extremely patient, honest and considerate person you are. One who is not afraid to kick ass, either.

Take it one step, one moment, one day at a time.

Not everything is or will be as it seems. You cannot stop the (sound) waves but you can learn to surf so keep on going with the flow, for it suits you so.

Be kind to yourself yet always bear it in mind, that it is okay to say no, that it is okay to be a little bit selfish. To have some “me time”.

Trust in fate since everything and everyone that happens, is predestined. In time, the answers to your many why’s will figure, in all senses.

Don’t be discouraged, don’t be unhappy and don’t be afraid to stay true to yourself, keep the faith in who you are, why you are who you are – you will be more than fine. For you are EXCEPTIONAL, more than you will ever come to realise. You may not always feel it but people do LOVE you, your feistiness even. Those around you consider themselves honoured, lucky today to still, be graced with the pleasure of YOUR company.

With the warmest of love and best wishes, on your birthday.

Your future self,

Sara xx

Ps Never underestimate the power of a written letter. 😉

Are You Ok?

“Am I ok??”

I need to stop caring about what others may think, may feel and speak my mind but then again speaking my mind and being honest is exactly what people fear and can’t handle.
It is not only what they may think but also what they could use against me. I know I shouldn’t give a toss and I need to practise that. People sometimes throw things back into my face, especially when I no longer permit them to exploit my kindness and I do notice / wise up more than I should.
I’ve been through a lot which contributes to my frustrations and anxieties yet just by saying that, people tend to think I’m making myself out to be a victim or seeking attention but they haven’t walked a mile in my shoes or survived knocking on deaths door. If they want to pass judgement on me, some friend they are?! They’ll reject me anyway simply because they are not equipped to accept me as I am or love me unconditionally.
I’ve had enough
Of people, making me feel the way I do.
Of memories, haunting me.
Such a conflicting place to be

This is why I am so grateful for so much in my life and know who not to be, who is genuine, can cherish each and every little thing.

Rant over ☺️ xxx

“Yes, I’m fine thanks.” 🤣

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~ SJ (Sara Jae)

 

A Drop Of Kindness.

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My 11 year old daughter stopped me early this afternoon whilst shopping and asked me if she could give HER change to this elderly homeless man who looked quite sad, I explained that it was hers to give – I even gave her a bit more loose change. She smiled and ran up to him, handing over her change. She ran back to me, glowing and looking satisfied. I then looked to him in the distance and put up my hand to acknowledge him, also with a smile.

Walking home, she spoke of how powerful a smile can be. How he tranformed, smiling back at her and gratefully thanked her about ten times! Bless her cottons… I explained to her that she most probably made his day. She understood then, just how much my favourite saying means to me…

“Keep on smiling, for it is free and does wonders.”

It suits too. 😊

A drop of kindness goes a very long way but best of all, it does not hurt.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)