Shame On The Ayes

As wise Jeremy Corbyn’s head drops in despair (NOT humiliation as some may try to pass off) when the result of the MP’s votes was announced, my heart as well as many others I am sure, relatively sank with the added increased sense of fear.

My very first thought was “Shame on the ayes…”

shame

David Cameron’s earlier accusation of any potential ‘noes’ being “Terrorist Sympathisers” was extremely insulting yet a desperate bullying tactic. Does he not know he is joining forces in terrorising innocent civilians?! There as well as here.

One word of advice: the correct name or word to use is “Daesh” not the so-called IS / Islamic State branding to identify the terrorists by.

The less said, the better.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Taken Out Of Context?!

context

If Simone Joseph had the decency to speak with respect or kindness in the very first place, she would not be in the public eye for her racial verbal diarrhoea which she has since admitted to and was charged with yet had the audacity to try to deflect the blame by saying it was “taken out of context”.

So not funny.

If you are going be a bully and let the poison dictate who you are – you alone are responsible for the consequences of your actions.

Sadly, this kind of abuse is all too common these days.

Islamophobia news.

Malorie Bantala, a pregnant woman kicked in stomach.

There’s no place like home.

What is a hate incident?

So many more…

If anything, mental health assessments should be ordered on such offenders.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

What Is A Hate Incident?

hate

I was reminded of an incident that happened to me some years ago, by the actions of this hateful woman who very recently hurled verbal abuse non-stop for about five minutes at a pregnant woman because of her religion. Not only that, she threatened to kick her in the stomach. The only thing I feel able to say in response to this offender is to “Take a look in the mirror”. For people to realise such hypocrisy. Her ancestors are neither white nor British – how dare she tell this innocent woman, to go back where she came from.

My memory of a potentially hateful incident serves as follows…

I was shopping one day in a maternity shop, for a gift to purchase for my sister who was expecting her second baby. I spied some pyjamas in the sale for my young daughter so I stretched my hand out to pick it off the rail. However, this woman snatched it from my hands and said it was hers. It was on the rails so how could it be hers I exclaimed. She refused to let go of the hanger and the garments I had picked up. There was a battle of words and anger took hold. She was absolutely vile.

We were in a maternity store and there she was, kicking me in the stomach with one aim, she obviously assumed I was pregnant and aimed to maim. The security guard and my husband rushed to pull us off one another yet she continued to kick me in the stomach. I had a life-saving operation on my stomach 2 years before and had to see the GP to be on the safe side.

It was more than clear to the shop’s staff that the instigator was, along the lines of not being respectable, good mannered and well-behaved. The contrast was rather apparent.

I was looked after while this vile woman was escorted off the premises, I had asked the shop’s manager for the police to be called so I could have it ‘on paper’ what happened in case the, let’s say… ‘ABH’, actually did some harm or long-term damage to my already fragile stomach. The police were not called but the shop very kindly put me into a pre-paid taxi for my safety, homeward bound.

Should my request then, for the Police to be involved, be respected or not?

Did my deafness hinder my opportunities to keep on top of the situation regarding what happened?

In addition, is it a positive thing that my deafness hindered me from understanding / knowing what was actually said to me during the incident? I feel somewhat fortunate that my deafness prevented me from being as exposed to the verbal abuse from her and her acquaintances.

Just to clarify any notions that this incident may have been along the lines of hearing vs deaf or vice versa. This is not the case as most people were not aware of my hearing impairment until after the incident, due to a hat I was wearing which covered my ears, therefore my HA’s.

I had to take it all in my stride as with everything else, as a good experience and challenge.

One of the problems with being deaf is that everyone else knows who we are yet we do not know who they (the hearing people) are.

All they have to say / think when they see us, ‘that’s the one who is deaf’… they can identify / recognise us.

We can change how we look, our names but not our disability, which at times, renders us vulnerable. Disability hate crime does exist.

I have since bought several personal alarms (key-ring pull ones) for my children. I already had one at the time but was unable to use it during this particular experience.

It is quite unfortunate my children were with me at the time and they were extremely distraught.

Advice given to me by a friend at the time was that I could always “go along to the police station and ask to speak to someone about it. They can still go back to the shop, ask questions, and if necessary take action. It is not always the best idea to call the cops in the heat of the moment as it can escalate hostilities” so they assured me I did right there.

To quote him;

“What is a hate incident?

When a person or group of people treats someone badly just because they do not like whom they are.

Why does this happen?

Some people bully or hurt other people who are different from them because:

#They are disabled

#they have a different colour skin

#they wear different clothes

#they are old

#they are young

#they are gay

#they go to a place of worship e.g. church or mosque

If this happens to you or someone you know tell someone. There is nothing wrong in being different.”

Report it, always. http://www.report-it.org.uk/home

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Quality Rather Than Quantity…

Upon tidying up my hard drive, I stumbled across a folder and foolishly thought I could clear it out. Yet having gone through it all, being the evidence of what bullying I had previously endured and subsequently saved, it left me reeling once again with such utter disgust at the world – especially those who wish(ed) to behave and present themselves quite despicably. As I was not their only victim, I can wholly sympathise with the others too, this weighs my heart down even more so. It has been what seems to be a never-ending, extremely painful experience to undergo all that nastiness at the hands of such evilness.

“The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies.”
~ Ray Bradbury.

You can only imagine how elated I felt the other day, to learn that someone, Sean O’Brien, he who had been targeted via social media for his size and confidence was in fact being supported against his bully. His predator’s attempt to feed his own ego was thwarted. Big time. People’s attitudes and perceptions of today are changing, for the better and this means sociopaths are gradually being exposed. People are standing up, taller than ever before, having their voices heard, against the bullies – they are no longer following the flock of sheep but their own conscience for peace of mind and heart.

Please, do not be afraid to walk alone, to be yourself – ‘tis way better than letting them walk all over you – they are potentially manipulating, exploiting, engineering and compromising you for their own gains with little or no regards for your feelings or any consequences. Do not be afraid, to speak up – to anyone. Think of it all as a good test because in the end it will help you to find out along the way, whom you can trust and who you are or want to be since they are showing you, who not to be.

I have taken measures to prevent any further undesirables from entering my life for my children, and my family comes first. They are why I do not dare let the sadness, heartbreak, past memories and any thoughts of “them” creep in. Feelings are deceiving and extremely compromising.rocks-stone-zen-balance-calmA true friend would never abandon your side in your time of need, through thick or thin or even encourage the thought of compromising you – in any sense. Anyone that does can effectively “Do one”…

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk besides me and be my friend.”
~ Albert Camus.

I am more than certain you will believe me when I say I know who my friends are, they may be rather few at that but I do not mind because with me, it is a case of “Quality Rather Than Quantity”. On that note, here is a token of gratitude for those selected few who manage to stay true, for not looking down on any one except to help them back up. For they are the ones who know how it feels, to be felled.

It is oftentimes like this when I have to remind myself not to let “them” win and to soar even higher up above with an abundance of courage and positivity.

You so can do it too – Keep the faith x

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Be Yourself.

I read this a while ago and I could not believe how true it rang so I am sharing it on, in the hope that no one else thinks they are alone in suffering too.

“There is such a thing as being too nice, too giving and too caring.

To overcome depression you must stop the habit of bending over to gain people’s approval. I know, it’s easier said than done. But no one said it’d be easy…

Those who are affected by depression tend to be people-pleasers. And yet, ironically, quite often they are viewed by others as selfish and self-centred…

For over three decades I believed in that crap myself. I believed I was selfish and self-involved. I was convinced I had nothing to offer. I also thought that it didn’t matter what I thought. That my opinion was less important than anyone else’s.

It seemed as if I was always living someone else’s life. First, I was the child who was “too young to understand things” and therefore to make decisions. My life was run by the grown ups, who weren’t able to see the serious damage caused by the primitive belief such as; “children should be seen but not heard.”

Then later, I became an young adult, clinging to any guy who’d find anything whatsoever appealing in me. At that time my looks seemed to have the only value in the eyes of others.

I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t who I am. I was a “slave” to anyone who was willing to have me in their life. The fear of rejection always steered my thoughts into the direction that led others to benefit from it more than I did.

How tiring was that! How exhausting it is having to constantly put others before your own self! And how little reward you get at the end of it…

All this, so you can keep deluding yourself that someone cares about you, at least enough to stick around. For a while, at least…. ’till they get tired of it.

Then what do you do when the inevitable happens and when they leave? You blame yourself, of course. Consciously, or subconsciously, your already low self-esteem gets reinforced. It spirals downward in a lightening speed and you get even more depressed, thinking that there is no tomorrow for you…

Well, there is. And it’s a bright one, too!

You’ve heard the phrase: “You teach people how to treat you” but you’ve ignored it so far. Maybe because when you did try to stand up for yourself it always seemed to have back fired. You might even had finally snapped and told others to fuck off, which they deserved to hear, only to find yourself being labeled as too aggressive and not “lady-like.”

Well dear, who the fuck gives a damn? Who cares what others think and, or say? Let me just remind you – it shouldn’t be you. There is only one person in this entire world whose opinion should matter to you, and that is YOU and you ONLY.

There is only one person in this entire Universe that needs your pleasing, and that person is you.

There is only one person who needs your caring the most, and yes, you’ve guessed it –  it’s you again.

Just remember this: if you care too much – others will care too little… If you remain too available – others will always remain too busy for you. Without even being apologetic about it, people will always make you wait for them, making you feel as if your time is not nearly as valuable as theirs. You get the picture…

You will encounter resistance from those around you when you start making those long-overdue changes, but that’s OK. Have fun with it. See that sense of amusement on their faces and that sense of disbelief… Stare back at them without blinking.

Be prepared to deal with the consequences of having the courage to do what’s right for you. In your mind let go of the fear of not having that job in case your boss decides to fire you. Maybe it means it’s time to do something else for a living.

Be ready to let go of your significant other if s/he continues to refuse to treat you in a new, more loving and respectful way.

Make yourself OK with being alone for now. Make yourself comfortable with being with… YOU. Get to know yourself. Find out exactly what your needs and desires are and then become unstoppable in fulfilling them! Be selfish. They’ve accused you of it so many times before, now it’s time for you to show others how selfish you can really be! Show them that you mean business… 🙂

Renounce the guilt. Let go of it. Completely. It’s time to release it.

Be your number one. Be bold. Be spontaneous. Learn to be yourself in every situation and around everyone.

This is how you start to love yourself…”

By Elzbieta Pettingill

It Is Not A Laughing Matter.

I condemn all acts of terrorism especially where innocent people have to die.

Muslims seem to lose either way. They are constantly asked to apologise for crimes they did not commit nor supported. They are stuck between the extremists and fanatics on either sides. Most Muslims want to work providing for their family and get on with life in harmony, just like the police officer, Ahmed Merabet wanted to, who was also killed yesterday. I am certain not many people know that he was a Muslim because the media did not mention this until much later on but there was no news of what religions the others were. It does not matter to the media because it is not sensational enough and does not go with the narrative of their headlines. This police officer paid with his life trying to do his job as a just person. The far right are striving in France and this will be an opportunity for them to milk this sad situation to their advantages. Sadly the bigots will jump on the band wagon of hatred without any thoughts to the consequences.

Charlie Hebdo was founded in 1970 and since then they have been relentless in mocking everybody in a very aggressive manner. They have a long history of provoking a wide range of people based on their choices and beliefs. Many of their satirical cartoons are tasteless, violent and sexually explicit – depicting many religious figures and politicians.

In 2012 the French government condemned Charlie Hebdo for publishing caricatures depicting Prophet Mohammed. They even urged the magazine to reconsider their decision in publishing the material but they refused. As a result the French government decided to take security measures to protect their embassies and consulates around the world. They also increased security around Charlie Hebdo’s offices. The magazine was determined in pursuit of what they believed is their right to mock others through “Free Speech”. While they are free to publish what they like with the exception of any anti-Semitic content, the law could not stop them or any of their provocative material but there is an unwritten rule to be respectful to others in every walk of life – regardless, in my opinion. You might be walking down an extremely narrow path and someone walks up towards you so you decide to step aside in order to let them go through first. This is what humanity is all about. Why do we have to be so nasty, oppressive and/or so hurtful towards one another?

There are those who will poke fun at disabled people – does anyone still remember Glenn Hoddle? When he remarked disabled people had been punished for their previous life (not very clever) and as a consequence he was sacked from his position as an England football manager. While there is nothing set in law to prosecute him with, the FA still acted and sacked him to show such opinions will not be tolerated.

My point being, freedom of speech is important but we need to hold back at our own discretion if we feel what we might say or do is hurtful towards others. There will always be people who want to push the boundaries and there is nothing wrong with that but freedom of speech cannot be used as an excuse to hide behind from when their actions has consequences and they should expect the same level of freedom of speech back especially when in a democratic state.

My main worry at this point in time is how society is reacting based on what the media wants us to see and believe regarding the cartoons. First it was Denmark, now France – next it will be the UK. When the World Trade Centre was targeted on the 11th of September (9/11), we suspected London would be next but not when. We also knew that the London public transport system would be targeted as that is what would have hurt the city most. If the Waging a dirty war. continues to retaliate to this sad state of affairs regarding the cartoons with the same kind of mockery that provoked all this, their offices could be next.

Any perceived anti-Semitism would be handled straightaway and the offenders promptly dealt with. Yet for any other religions, any anti views are sadly casually tolerated which I find very unfair because the same law should apply to all religions. By being respectful and mindful of others at all times would nip any anti views in the bud and would avoid that cataclysmic chain reaction of events spiralling out of anyone’s control. As for censorship? Do not even try to hide behind that excuse because no one ever sees what actually happens to the people of Palestine and other war torn countries: Waging a dirty war.

Is the Ku Klux Klan a representative of Christians? So why do many think Terrorists are representative of Muslims? Fanatics or extremists does not define their religion come what may except distorts the truth behind it – all religions which asks for submission to the one and only same god is about peace and humanity. A true believer would not stoop so low to harm another because their religion (should) forbids it. Unfortunately people not in the know or are well informed regarding a particular religion will accept that distortion all too readily. It is those who are the most sincere in their hearts that suffer the most from all this due to fanatics and others attributing excuses.

Thank you for allowing me to practise free speech – with respect comes peace.

~ SJ

 

Evidence Speaks For Itself

As I began setting up the Tree House and laying its foundations, I invited two other old school friends to join me and they both happily agreed. Robin McMeekin, bless his soul, voluntarily left after he realised his actions could have been quite damaging onto himself and the TH. He is very much a free spirit, doing as he pleases whilst being very outspoken with his views – some of which, other people thought were a bit extreme even though he was entitled to his own opinions. So the three of us became the two of us. Robin and his sense of humour are missed, by more than he realises.

The TH then continued to bloom and grow with all the nurturing each and every one put into it.

One day, when most of the admin team did not get their way and walked out like spoilt brats – one of whom went as far as to mimick her house mate’s tendancy to put themselves into hospital. Kirsty Vessey (nee McMullan) then stepped in and tried to make me think we could not do without them. This was the first warning sign I had that things were not going to be plain sailing any more.

Of course, we could do without them, especially if they were going to be so self-centred / absorbed / power mad – so let them go and make way for other team members instead who might do even better (who knows?) To their demands they had made via Kirsty, I made my own of which soon transpired were not relayed but swept under the rug to appease them, just so they would come back. This was the first mistake she made.

Therefore, it was inevitable that there would be a next time that they wanted their own way once again, except I would not let anyone manipulate me this time around. They could not understand my position as the legal founder and owner, that I had the last say in how I wanted to protect the TH and see it performing. I wrote a blog called “Stop Online Abuse” to speak out as it had been going on for far too long in the deaf world across social media, far too many others also behave in this manipulative way in order to achieve what they want. By trying to provide a platform to try to bridge the gaps between and unite both the deaf and hearing worlds, the last thing I would tolerate was people from within my own community turning on their own.

They took over another group belonging to the Tree House and renamed it. Only then to set up their own when people realised what they had done. I was not going to take this second or third attempted takeover bid laying down – I reported them with hard evidence to make them stop harassing, bullying and manipulating me, also via my friends. They predictably went around mutual friends in a bid to get them to leave the TH, to abandon and to turn them against me. I had several witnesses who could vouch what was happening and these witnesses made me feel slightly vindicated. They were telling everyone (confirmed by Michelle Hedley) that I was doing all this and that when I had not – I had learnt a very, very, long time ago not to allow anyone to use anything against me… Yet still, I was wronged and being wronged. For what? Doing the right things as the legal owner. Even when I publicly thanked everyone for their time, patience and contributions which made the TH what it is, I was still being given grief.

One of them, Richard Turner, had the nerve to turn it all against me by using the famous animal farm quote when he was potentially the engineer behind it all as the team was more or less made up of who he wanted on the team and what events he wanted or did not want to do which was also under his influence. And because of that, I decided it was no longer necessary to have a dedicated events team as the members themselves could be encouraged and empowered to create and do events as they wished.

quote-all-animals-are-equal-but-some-animals-are-more-equal-than-others-george-orwell-139688

My mother saw this very quote he posted that was directed at me so she relatively slammed him right back down, accusing him of bullying me and clarified that the animal farm quote, was actually who “they” were being.

I am going to attach some of the evidence which will speak for itself, how they behaved so you can see for yourself just how despicable they were being as I am tired and have had quite enough, of being browbeaten. Tired of seeing my friends suffering too at the hands of their unreasoning and logic(!).

My friends were being unfriended / blocked for not taking his/their sides and for quite simply, being friends with me. Their rightful choice?

blocked4

blocked1 blocked3blocked2

harassment with intentions
Not having permission? Total bollocks to that as any writer knows they are automatically giving permission when they hit publish – not only that, I have his actual written permission. So obviously bent on publicly harassing me to make me look bad..
One of the few witnesses.

Even stooped as low to go down the route, using a form of monstering to make me look like the “baddie”.

A form of monstering.

The last straw was when the Ward-McLaughlans involved my daughter.

chickenshed1

kirsty1
When Kirsty was removed for her conduct unbecoming. 1/3
kirsty2
2/3
kirsty3
3/3

Everyone that knows me knows I will say it like it is – which is nothing but the truth….. Shame on those who run around destroying people, (and those who condoned their actions) it makes them out to be a psycho or perhaps more appropriately sociopaths.