Home, But Not At Home.

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Looks beware.

It took a lot out of me today, to remain calm and ignore this incredibly rude woman on the bus who refused to budge an inch for me and my pram, which carried my beautiful sleeping baby.

The bus was almost EMPTY but she was sitting right where the pram needs to be placed, safely. The priority seats for those with a pram or children. I was dumbfounded by her coldness and misery. Not one flicker of kindness or consideration to let me pass, her, to access the empty seat next to her so I could sit next to / with my baby.

I decided not to let her dictate the whole situation and submit to her evilness so I squeezed past her, between her and the pram and sat down. I felt her stony glare dig in and could see just how despicable she became, out of the corner of my eye. I focused on my baby who was my priority and smiled at her, reassuring her I was by her side so she could go back to sleep.

A sense of achievement overcame me, I had not allowed her to bully me based on her assumptions of me.

A kind stranger looked at me to see if I was okay because they too had noticed this woman’s attitude. I would have loved to vent right there and then with someone who witnessed it all, especially their dirty looks. Instead, a hint of a smile was managed.

Patience prevailed.

I was born in the United Kingdom and I have a British passport. I may not have pale white skin or “English” features but that does not give anyone the right to judge me or anyone else based on my / our looks or choice of clothing.

Who the hell do some people think they are? Piss off!

Words fail me, when I am made to feel like a foreigner in my own country. This may be my home country but I am most certainly, not at home.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

The Right To Decide by Catherine Vest

A vlog about one’s very personal experiences was shared publically, this relatively hit home.

Vlog: https://www.facebook.com/cmcastil/posts/10102003581703274?__mref=message

Transcription:

“This is in regards to ‪#‎whyisign‬— I am one of those unfortunate individuals who was forced to learn ASL purely for survival. I was not linguistically deprived and was happy with my current method, which was Signed Exact English (SEE), until I was placed in a deaf school. The transition at the deaf school was brutal and I was bullied horribly because I signed differently. It is akin to bullying someone else who spoke differently, like talking with a stutter, lisp or some kind of speech impediment.

While many of you consider that it is a human right to have access to our language, I doubt many of you did stop to consider the possibility that bullying or tormenting someone else who happen to have different signing skills— that you may have denied our right to decide whether SEE or ASL would be best suited to our needs.

You took away my right to decide if I wanted to learn ASL and took away something that I grew up with and served me very well in many areas of my life.

You do not get to decide how my signing should look like- just like with our unique ways of communicating. This is how my sign looks like and you do not get to tell me that it sucks or that it does not fit in your ideal vision of how sign language should look like.”

Meanwhile… I would like to applaud Catherine Vest, for her courage in speaking out – in many senses.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Shame On The Ayes

As wise Jeremy Corbyn’s head drops in despair (NOT humiliation as some may try to pass off) when the result of the MP’s votes was announced, my heart as well as many others I am sure, relatively sank with the added increased sense of fear.

My very first thought was “Shame on the ayes…”

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David Cameron’s earlier accusation of any potential ‘noes’ being “Terrorist Sympathisers” was extremely insulting yet a desperate bullying tactic. Does he not know he is joining forces in terrorising innocent civilians?! There as well as here.

One word of advice: the correct name or word to use is “Daesh” not the so-called IS / Islamic State branding to identify the terrorists by.

The less said, the better.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Taken Out Of Context?!

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If Simone Joseph had the decency to speak with respect or kindness in the very first place, she would not be in the public eye for her racial verbal diarrhoea which she has since admitted to and was charged with yet had the audacity to try to deflect the blame by saying it was “taken out of context”.

So not funny.

If you are going be a bully and let the poison dictate who you are – you alone are responsible for the consequences of your actions.

Sadly, this kind of abuse is all too common these days.

Islamophobia news.

Malorie Bantala, a pregnant woman kicked in stomach.

There’s no place like home.

What is a hate incident?

So many more…

If anything, mental health assessments should be ordered on such offenders.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

What Is A Hate Incident?

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I was reminded of an incident that happened to me some years ago, by the actions of this hateful woman who very recently hurled verbal abuse non-stop for about five minutes at a pregnant woman because of her religion. Not only that, she threatened to kick her in the stomach. The only thing I feel able to say in response to this offender is to “Take a look in the mirror”. For people to realise such hypocrisy. Her ancestors are neither white nor British – how dare she tell this innocent woman, to go back where she came from.

My memory of a potentially hateful incident serves as follows…

I was shopping one day in a maternity shop, for a gift to purchase for my sister who was expecting her second baby. I spied some pyjamas in the sale for my young daughter so I stretched my hand out to pick it off the rail. However, this woman snatched it from my hands and said it was hers. It was on the rails so how could it be hers I exclaimed. She refused to let go of the hanger and the garments I had picked up. There was a battle of words and anger took hold. She was absolutely vile.

We were in a maternity store and there she was, kicking me in the stomach with one aim, she obviously assumed I was pregnant and aimed to maim. The security guard and my husband rushed to pull us off one another yet she continued to kick me in the stomach. I had a life-saving operation on my stomach 2 years before and had to see the GP to be on the safe side.

It was more than clear to the shop’s staff that the instigator was, along the lines of not being respectable, good mannered and well-behaved. The contrast was rather apparent.

I was looked after while this vile woman was escorted off the premises, I had asked the shop’s manager for the police to be called so I could have it ‘on paper’ what happened in case the, let’s say… ‘ABH’, actually did some harm or long-term damage to my already fragile stomach. The police were not called but the shop very kindly put me into a pre-paid taxi for my safety, homeward bound.

Should my request then, for the Police to be involved, be respected or not?

Did my deafness hinder my opportunities to keep on top of the situation regarding what happened?

In addition, is it a positive thing that my deafness hindered me from understanding / knowing what was actually said to me during the incident? I feel somewhat fortunate that my deafness prevented me from being as exposed to the verbal abuse from her and her acquaintances.

Just to clarify any notions that this incident may have been along the lines of hearing vs deaf or vice versa. This is not the case as most people were not aware of my hearing impairment until after the incident, due to a hat I was wearing which covered my ears, therefore my HA’s.

I had to take it all in my stride as with everything else, as a good experience and challenge.

One of the problems with being deaf is that everyone else knows who we are yet we do not know who they (the hearing people) are.

All they have to say / think when they see us, ‘that’s the one who is deaf’… they can identify / recognise us.

We can change how we look, our names but not our disability, which at times, renders us vulnerable. Disability hate crime does exist.

I have since bought several personal alarms (key-ring pull ones) for my children. I already had one at the time but was unable to use it during this particular experience.

It is quite unfortunate my children were with me at the time and they were extremely distraught.

Advice given to me by a friend at the time was that I could always “go along to the police station and ask to speak to someone about it. They can still go back to the shop, ask questions, and if necessary take action. It is not always the best idea to call the cops in the heat of the moment as it can escalate hostilities” so they assured me I did right there.

To quote him;

“What is a hate incident?

When a person or group of people treats someone badly just because they do not like whom they are.

Why does this happen?

Some people bully or hurt other people who are different from them because:

#They are disabled

#they have a different colour skin

#they wear different clothes

#they are old

#they are young

#they are gay

#they go to a place of worship e.g. church or mosque

If this happens to you or someone you know tell someone. There is nothing wrong in being different.”

Report it, always. http://www.report-it.org.uk/home

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Islamophobia On The Rise

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I was sent this petition to sign and so I am sharing it with you too. Despicable indeed. Please sign and share their petition, as quoted below. Thank you.

We came across a video on Facebook and were heavily distraught by the aggressive verbal attack on a London bus with no one putting a stop to it. The outrageous things that were coming out of this woman’s mouth really shocked us.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!!!

There are two things that NEED to be resolved. First and foremost this woman needs to be found by the police and dealt with appropriately for her disgusting behaviour. Secondly, these kinds of incidents should have severe consequences.

These horrible attacks regularly occur on buses/trains/trams/bustops and something NEEDS to be put in place to bring an end. There are many videos that have been shared previously however this most recent incident highlights the brutality of such attacks. The following are some of the main highlights.

1) The vile aggressor was not only being racist by calling fellow passengers “sand rats” and telling them to “go back to your f*****g country” but being extremely islamophobic by calling the ladies “ISIS b****s”, asking whether they shared husbands, referring to Islamic terms such as “haram” and calling it all “dirty”.

2) The lady attacking was making endless threats including one repulsive threat of kicking the lady who was pregnant in her stomach.

3) The attacker had a young child with her which should bring into question her competency as a mother and whether or not she should even be allowed to look after a child that young with her vicious points of view!!!

3) The bus driver did try to calm the situation down. However, he was talking to the bus collectively when the lady was the main problem maker. Furthermore this video was 5 minutes. That is a very long time to either call the police, calm the situation down in a much more assertive way or quite simply, chuck that lady out of the bus. This is an issue that needs to be resolved by TFL.

4) Children were present whilst this whole attack was taking place, including children who’s parents were being attacked. Under no circumstances should any child have to go through hearing such vulgar language.

5) Everyone pays the same amount of money to get on the bus and should not have to go through that during a journey to their destination.

This is such a big issue that occurs in public. We need as many signatures as possible for there to be a solution. The police need to find this woman as she and others like her need to be held to account!!!!!

TFL should have procedures put into place to deal with such incidents. As they serve the public they need to have an ethos amongst staff to protect victims of hate crime.

SIGN NOW!!!!!!! STOP RACISM! STOP ISLAMOPHOBIA! STOP HATE CRIME!

Transport For London, Commissioner of Police, Gurgaon, David Cameron MP, Boris Johnson: Hate crimes should not be tolerated on TFL! Find the racist Islamophobe!Sign the Petition!

Here’s To Steve Jobs

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Last year or the year before, I watched a film starring Ashton Kutcher who portrayed Steve Jobs and how Apple came about. It was then I realised just how I was not alone, in being bullied by their own staff.

When I remarked on the film back then, I was informed that he was actually the bully (!) but I knew deep down this was not the case or the truth. He had to be tough, to avoid being manipulated or taken advantage of, and cast aside despite founding Apple. It was his determination, influence and passion that helped to create Apple and its products, with a uniqueness found nowhere else thus changing the future.

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He had to stand and protect his ground, against the power mad and jealous staff who obviously wanted to overthrow him. He was in fact, the one being bullied and it is only thanks to those who respected him and his position as the founder, that he eventually got his company back and the wayward members of staff was removed for their despicable actions and childish behaviour.

I am so glad he carried on with his vision and am somewhat thankful I saw the film when I did because I recognised the same patterns and as a result, I was more or less “prepared” for what was happening realisically and predicted, for myself. His experiences along those selected few, who stayed true to me, gave me the confidence and courage to go on.

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I am looking forwards to seeing the new film depicting Steve Jobs’ life since I admire who he was, which was a result of those around him showing him who not to be. To learn more about his character and why he was, who he was. Furthermore, why I can relate to him and his words of wisdom.

There is a reason for everything and there will always be another side to a coin. The truth in the end, prevails however late it may come out so as they say, better late than never.

Considering I feel a certain kinship to him, here’s to Steve Jobs… 🙂

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

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A Sociopath is….

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I have had more than my fair share of being subjected to bullies and sociopaths in the past and here is a list I have compiled from my experiences, which could assist you in defining and determining who / what a sociopath is…

They come across as being rather charismatic but in the end, is actually quite glib.

Even though they appear so certain of themselves, they are in fact paranoid.

They have strange sexual tendency or fetish(es).

They will warm to, suck up to anyone that is currently in the limelight, thus try to be in or steal the limelight.

They tell lies only to deceive but for some, they may lie compulsively.

They are able to manipulate their lies into sounding something very much like the truth due to their confidence and assertiveness to convince and dominate others.

They are unable to feel any guilt or remorse and have complete disregard for your emotional well-being or opinions and the consequences of their actions.

They will engineer situations and manipulate people into doing what they desire through charm or aggressive means.

They, more than likely, will have hidden agendas.

They end up treating people with such disrespect and contempt especially as and when things do not go their way. Basically, they spit their dummies.

They tend to be short-tempered and at times, violent – if not most of the time.

They may mentally and / or physically abuse those closest to them.

They are rarely shy but will certainly experience a degree of trouble in suppressing their anger, impatience or annoyance.

They are incapable of holding a job or remaining in one place for long periods.

They usually work or has worked in sales.

They come across as self-centred, and will constantly post selfies for attention and compliments.

They somehow feel entitled so will be manipulative to gain such a position or authority, especially for their own gains.

They are often deluded, with notions of grandeur.

They quickly get bored so will venture elsewhere for some mental simulation.  Physically, they will be spontaneous, taking risks without assessing any potential repercussions.

They will fail to keep to any social arrangements once they are comfortable with their foot in the door with a current social group and eventually, will look elsewhere for more unsuspecting victims to manipulate, bully and challenge.

They often seek approval from others and have a hard time taking criticism whether it is constructive or not.

They are two-faced and at best, hypocritical but will vehemently deny it.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Pssst… Respect is earned, not given x

Quality Rather Than Quantity…

Upon tidying up my hard drive, I stumbled across a folder and foolishly thought I could clear it out. Yet having gone through it all, being the evidence of what bullying I had previously endured and subsequently saved, it left me reeling once again with such utter disgust at the world – especially those who wish(ed) to behave and present themselves quite despicably. As I was not their only victim, I can wholly sympathise with the others too, this weighs my heart down even more so. It has been what seems to be a never-ending, extremely painful experience to undergo all that nastiness at the hands of such evilness.

“The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies.”
~ Ray Bradbury.

You can only imagine how elated I felt the other day, to learn that someone, Sean O’Brien, he who had been targeted via social media for his size and confidence was in fact being supported against his bully. His predator’s attempt to feed his own ego was thwarted. Big time. People’s attitudes and perceptions of today are changing, for the better and this means sociopaths are gradually being exposed. People are standing up, taller than ever before, having their voices heard, against the bullies – they are no longer following the flock of sheep but their own conscience for peace of mind and heart.

Please, do not be afraid to walk alone, to be yourself – ‘tis way better than letting them walk all over you – they are potentially manipulating, exploiting, engineering and compromising you for their own gains with little or no regards for your feelings or any consequences. Do not be afraid, to speak up – to anyone. Think of it all as a good test because in the end it will help you to find out along the way, whom you can trust and who you are or want to be since they are showing you, who not to be.

I have taken measures to prevent any further undesirables from entering my life for my children, and my family comes first. They are why I do not dare let the sadness, heartbreak, past memories and any thoughts of “them” creep in. Feelings are deceiving and extremely compromising.rocks-stone-zen-balance-calmA true friend would never abandon your side in your time of need, through thick or thin or even encourage the thought of compromising you – in any sense. Anyone that does can effectively “Do one”…

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk besides me and be my friend.”
~ Albert Camus.

I am more than certain you will believe me when I say I know who my friends are, they may be rather few at that but I do not mind because with me, it is a case of “Quality Rather Than Quantity”. On that note, here is a token of gratitude for those selected few who manage to stay true, for not looking down on any one except to help them back up. For they are the ones who know how it feels, to be felled.

It is oftentimes like this when I have to remind myself not to let “them” win and to soar even higher up above with an abundance of courage and positivity.

You so can do it too – Keep the faith x

~ SJ (Sara Jae)