A Can Of Nerves.

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During the summer while we were on the bus in London, a passenger got quite angry with the bus driver because he was carrying a rather large can of paint and the bus driver was trying to inform him, he wasn’t allowed to bring the container onto the bus.

The passenger also mentioned in his response that he’d never been told before he couldn’t carry paint onto public transport.

To everyone else, it was a bit weird at the time but today’s terrorist attack in Parson’s Green proves the bus driver’s point….

I think Transport For London staff are on guard but the public don’t know enough, to help them and the police keep watch.

Seriously, God help those that tries to hurt my angels and their friends whilst we are travelling to and from school via the public transport system during rush hours.

Terrorists, please – piss off. You will never prevail.

My thoughts and nerves are with those affected by today’s turn of events at Parson’s Green.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Rumour Has It…

That I have had a breakdown. Hmmm, I must admit that when I heard that, I just had to laugh. Granted, for those of you concerned enough, it was not at all funny but alarming enough for you to actually approach me and find out the truth, for yourselves. I would like to applause those of you for having enough respect for me, to come to me, rather than conforming to the peer pressure of Chinese whispers amongst yourselves.

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“What you don’t see with your eyes, don’t witness with your mouth.”

As for the “breakdown” – it is absolutely and utterly untrue. IF there ever were one, it would have been before I founded the Tree House. There was a time when I was kicked whilst I was down but those who did not dare to look down on me – whilst I was down helped me back up again. After the Tree House was founded, there was another time when a good portion of my previous admin team tried to undermine, overpower me but I stood my ground, stood up (much to their horror hoping that I would stand by) and removed their flaws from damaging me, relatively the Tree House further. (A survival of the fittest of course) They still and will always try their best to damage it but that is their problem, therefore their waste of (negative) energy. These people are behind me, and so it should be the case, for you too.

I have now reached the stage where I do not need social media in my life – any longer. Social media has become quite the tool for sociopaths. It sucks people in, makes them mindless of others and sadly, the preciousness of face-to-face values is lost on most. If anything, the Tree House has been a lifeline to me for the past two years. I am oftentimes (albeit surprisingly) reminded that people can still be humane, respectful, kind, considerate, honest and genuine.

I do appreciate social media in the sense that it has reconnected me in the past, to long lost family and friends, for introducing me to some newfound friends that have brought laughter and tears to my heart. For reminding me, who not to be, who to steer clear of and just how twisted and bitter some people can be. That is not the way I wish to use my second chance at life – most people only get one chance and if they could turn back time and change certain aspects of their lives, they would. Thus, why, I am because I can. I have once again found the balance in my life in order for me to cherish life and social media is not part of that equation.

Look to the person next to you, to the cashier in the shops, to the stranger opposite you on public transport. Consider how they may be feeling or what they may be going through. They would love a friendly smile just as much as you do. Smell the freshly cut grass, cherish chocolate even – as a treat mind you! Strive to be righteous, honest and the best one can be. Find a way to being happy from within because being happy for a reason is dangerous since that reason can be taken away from you.

There is certainly no need for me to broadcast why I have taken a step back, a sabbatical, especially when it is for very personal reasons that only my family and a selected few friends deserve to know. They have after all, always been there for me.

Please, trust in me that when I say, I am more than fine, I am actually anticipating all the joy the future has in store, for me, and my children.

For… “What is coming is better than what has gone.”  

Onwards and upwards – Positivity rules!. 😉 😉

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

The Cybernauts Of The Deep Web

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The other day, I was chatting to a friend about our favourite TV series. They realised just how much I enjoyed watching anything to do with forensic science, especially crime scenes.

Since our conversation, they have watched CSI Cyber and are now, hooked on it. The terminology for them is somewhat different but Google is a handy tool. They also stated they have often wondered just how much of the technology crime is real on such programmes…

I answered them speaking from experience having watched forensic science and all the police series to date, how it all felt rather familiar. How much I suspected they used real life experiences or cases from the past, to base their storyline on and in return, relatively use the knowledge gained from that crime unless otherwise stated that the “Storyline is not based on real life characters or crimes.”

CSI Cyber for them is proving to be very educational, making one more aware of what criminal activity could be committed via the use of technology. Though I deduce, it may make some people even more paranoid of technology, upon realising the extent of just how vulnerable one can be, to the know how’s, the miscreants or rather, the “black hats” as one would describe them.

I quote myself from an earlier article I wrote about the media’s influence, which also stands within this context…

“There is an online world being formed, which makes people feel able to take things into their own hands, making comments, posting YouTube videos or articles that spread like wildfire within seconds of it being publicized.”

It is sadly, quite the playground for bullies. One of the many disadvantages the cyber world has is that everyone is accessing and potentially misuses the same or similar info from the exact same places.

“Each one of us will interpret the context based on our personal knowledge, understanding and experiences. Not everyone will seek the truth or a deeper knowledge in order to be better informed about what we are being told or given to read, by or via the media.”

People forget just how quickly technology has contributed to riots of today whereas in the days of snail mail, only a fraction of the number would have taken heed and caught up in the act of which by then would have fizzled out.

The very same online world is not being policed adequately hence why cybercrimes are on the rise. Be it verbal and mental abuse, hacking of one nature or another, viruses, phishing and so on.

cybercrimeOnline banking is something I would never do since the cyber world is beyond our capabilities and understanding. If I could be ultra-confident my details were encrypted and private then maybe, just maybe I would be a little bit more trusting of the cyber world.

All the possibilities we leave ourselves open to, people just do not realise until it happens to them by which time, may be too late for some. Big brother may be watching yet they too, are just as vulnerable.

As with everything there is always a balance, there are good people out there who are genuinely trying to help people, needing the online world to benefit their causes, despite the black hats trying to spoil it, for the white hats.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

God’s Will

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The ghosts of oppressors past are haunting me so I have got up from my luxurious bed in an attempt to distract my school of thoughts. My tired head is rather missing the softness of my pillow yet the hamsters seem extremely chirpy to see me. Many a night they are left all alone in the dark to fend for themselves and run gleefully in their exercise wheels. Yes, the wheels do make a little bit of a racket but hey ho, they are happy.

Once upon a time, I was nicknamed sleeping beauty, for sleeping in all the time. Except, for a quite few years now, I can hardly ever sleep for nightmares and distressing thoughts. Ever since I was a young child, I have woken up in the night from some sort of terror or other. Sometimes, crying, screaming or shouting. I have oftentimes discovered a split lip or a bruised hand here and there from fighting out my dreams. My husband has described to me on numerous occasions how he had to try to calm me down.

My dreams only seem to cease when there are no triggers or reminders of the past or when I do not see my father for quite some time. Challenging times, people and memories just do not help.

I have some thinking to do but why can it not wait until I have had some quality sleep then I can be confident it is a well-made decision rather than following affairs of the heart.

Some people do not even know where exactly the heart is as I was shocked to discover a few years ago. Someone actually thought it was entirely in the left part of his or her chest… Erm, “no but why do you  not know this if both of your parents are nurses?” I questioned. I then explained how it is actually in the middle of the chest and it was the left side of the heart, which has the larger muscle so it ever so slightly comes into the left side of the chest… They did not want to believe me. Their problem.

Not many people also know for a fact that XX or XY chromosomes is decreed by the man’s sperm yet men dare to blame the woman for not being able to produce a desired girl or boy. Females only have XX chromosomes and it is always linked down the maternal side hence the double X’s whereas the man has both the female (X) and male (Y) chromosomes making theirs XY. If women do not have the male (Y) chromosome, how else could they produce a boy? Only with the man’s “input” if you like!

It has nothing at all to do with the moon either! You can try and be superstitious all you like except one’s fate is not up to you but God’s will which will be done. Just as it is God’s will that I put my fingers to the keyboard now in case one of you learns something from this particular post?! 😛 Que sera, sera. 

Sleep now beckons since I have succeeded in making myself chuckle, distracting and reminding myself the intrinsic beauty of mother nature and her designs, the predestination of all things bright and beautiful.

I now thank you, for your time and patience.

Zzzzzzz.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Hasta La Vista!

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Only quite recently, I was made aware of some genuine concerns that some of my friends had, which were complaints that certain people and charities are associating themselves with those who bullied me and others in the past.

The miscreants back then forced our mutual friends to pick sides, theirs or mine. (I have since kept the evidence and there are witnesses!) However, I would never dream of imposing such a predicament upon someone else who had done absolutely nothing wrong.

What rights does anyone have to unleash his or her negativity unto innocent bystanders? This only proves their fears of losing face and letting paranoia take over. What made it permissible for them to put innocent people in such an awkward and unfair position? One considers it as another form of bullying and it is people like them, who need a good slap for their triviality.

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I advised my concerned friends to have their voices heard and to speak the truth but they are too afraid of being identified and singled out in retaliation.

Rather unfortunately, this is what the deaf world is like and because of all the disregard others have unto ourselves by toying with us as if we were pawns in agendas of theirs, I no longer want any part of it. Especially for as long as they are around continuing to manipulate people with their lies, distorting / obscuring the truth and using / manipulating people for their own gains.

I no longer use social media for obvious reasons so I can only advise and wish those unsuspecting associates well, in the hope they will soon realise and learn from the errors of their ways. That they will not lose any interest or subscribers since people are getting rather sick of seeing the bullies being thrust in their faces continuously. This only goes to show how disgusted they are, with the treatment and childish behaviour towards themselves, and me in the past.

The deaf world is fast becoming much too small for some people’s liking so it is inevitable that it is a case of, “Hasta la vista” for some of us but…

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In a very camp manner, I would like to embrace the hearing world with open arms and excitedly exclaim “Hiya!” and re-settle once again into a much more hospitable, amicable and respectable place.

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~ SJ (Sara Jae)