Weathering Storms.

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We have and we are all weathering storms of our own, throughout our lives, and there will always be more to come. Regardless of its causes.

One may feel more weathered than another.
They may allow themselves to be more stressed by their memories, thoughts and feelings, than by the “stresses” around them. Internalising the storm from within.
Whilst another appears, able to shrug it all off. Things are not always what they seem.

One may choose to be an open book, whilst another, may choose to remain closed.
It does not mean, another suffered, will suffer or is suffering, less.
Yet, one sometimes chooses to borrow tomorrow’s troubles, potentially reliving the stress – two-fold. Each to their own.

Beings will cope differently to one another, whilst one will cope as best as they can, some, the only way they may know how. Some, needing guidance.

One person may retreat whilst another will be in awe of all those around them, for managing to shine on having been and being, in storms of their own.

One may experience a storm in a teacup whilst another may experience it as an overbearing storm on their horizon. 

Every being and situation is different, naturally, coping mechanisms will differ.

What with face masks and face coverings being made mandatory, the isolation, the anxieties and the barriers we as a deaf community are feeling, will face daily. we are ALL in this, dealing with this, as one. The best we can. We will all be able to relate and empathise with one another.

Be proactive, not reactive. It is down to education – there will be situations due to ignorance, arrogance, lack of deaf awareness and presumptions as to why someone is not wearing a mask. Remain kind, remain patient and educate.

I’ve had an elderly guy who was wearing a face mask, laugh at me when I explained I couldn’t understand him since I couldn’t lip read him. I chose to let his immaturity pass, and not react at all. Sure, it bothered me a little at the time but I refuse to let it, or anything trivial, consume and/or dictate me and relatively, imprison me. We cannot stop the waves but we can learn to surf. 

If anyone feels alone, be it as a result of the sea of emotionless, faceless masks or otherwise, please DO REACH OUT, for those who are able to, will be there.

💖

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Keep Calm And Yield

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I encountered today yet another degree of selfishness. I cannot fathom how people seem to believe they have right of way on what is surely, a shared public pavement…

My daughter and I were waiting to meet someone and I decided to put a piece of scrap paper from my coat pocket into a bin, which we made our way towards. Job done, checked that my daughter was okay yet this old lady decided to have a right go at me some fifteen seconds later.

“Did you not hear me walking behind you – you just walked right across my path”.

Cue one jaw dropping moment.

“I’m sorry, I was just putting some rubbish into the bin”  I answered, feeling rather astonished…I really did not see any one else in the immediate vicinity except at the bus stop otherwise I would have yielded. Giving is better than taking, is it not?

She completely snubbed me and proceeded to the bus stop where she continued to moan about me right in front of my very eyes to innocent bystanders. I could not swallow how impudent she dared to be. I decided not to permit her to be so spiteful so calmly walked over to her; reminding her that I was putting something into the bin. Should I have thrown rubbish onto the ground instead? She looked surprised to see me standing my ground to an elder like herself, who are usually extremely set in their ways, who in addition had the audacity to brush me aside, waving me away.

An innocent bystander realised I was deaf and informed her of my predicament, hence why I did not hear her. Besides, she was only petite, not some stomping great giant. Bless this bystander and her cottons.

Upon seeing how she waved me away as if I were some pauper, I decided to give her one last injection of my feistiness, “You may think I am the one being rude when it is actually you, who is being so rude.” Relatively shortly after, I decided to remove my daughter away from such a display of insolence. From a short distance, we could still see her grumbling away, glancing back at us, trying to involve surrounding onlookers, which was saddening to see. My patience was being tested once more.

She expected attention under notions of grandeur and quite possibly she would have gone on to whine about me to everyone else she spoke to except they would not know the whole truth or my side of the story and this is what infuriates me so much.

Just because one may live in an area of affluence or have money, it does not give anyone the authority to be so arrogant and aloof. I sincerely hope she will think twice in future before passing any more crass remarks – not everyone will be as understanding. Caring for elderly people in the past has helped me to determine that for some of them, they know how well to manipulate situations into their favour due to their life experiences.

If I can give someone who happened to be a police detective, a piece of my mind with the greatest of respect for valid reasons, no one else gets treated any differently just because of who they may be, where they may come from or who they may know since it is all irrelevant. No one is all that.

A fact – arrogance renders people ignorant.

“An arrogant person considers himself perfect. This is the chief harm of arrogance. It interferes with the person’s main task in life – becoming a better person.” – Leo Tolstoy.

Keep calm and yield – within reason. For the giving (upper) hand is better than the taking (lower) hand.

Be a lover, not a fighter. 😉

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Respect Is The Word

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Several years ago I was window shopping and my father had walked ahead of me so I tried to catch up with him. I noticed a street vendor trying to catch my father’s attention but my father relatively indicated to him that he was deaf and continued to walk onwards. By this time, I was almost beside the street vendor who had decided to make a mockery out of my father from behind his back. He knew my father would not be able to hear him being profoundly deaf.

I then turned to the street vendor and said to him “Just because my father is deaf and cannot hear you, it does not mean you can take the mickey out of him, from behind his back.” He was rendered speechless. I left him at that and caught up with my father.

Something very similar happened today regarding my father.

We alighted from a red London bus and there was a girl, who was listening to music and was very absorbed in her phone. She somehow did not like my father crossing her intended path and as usual, I was walking behind him. This meant I also saw her making dirty looks at my father from behind his back and then remarking with such an attitude to her male companion.

I said to her “Excuse me” twice but she could not hear me so I waited until she looked at me and said to her “There was no need for you to make such a dirty face at my father from behind his back when he did absolutely nothing wrong.” Her face turned bright red. I could hear her male companion trying to defend her yet it was her who had no respect or patience to begin with so I ignored him and walked away to once more, catch up with my father.

The sad thing is my father still does not realise these things have happened or how angry I was feeling on his behalf at the total lack of respect in today’s society..

It is times like this when my patience is truly tested for I do not have much patience at all for disrespectful or spiteful people. Quite possibly my experiences with bullies also come to the fore which makes it a lot harder to ignore their behaviour especially when they have no right or reason.

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.” – Albert Einstein

Whatever happened to good manners, respect and patience? Kindness does not hurt anyone and all one has to do is check themselves before letting the poison dictate their character and the consequences.of their actions.

All beings deserve respect, regardless.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)