Give Peas A Chance.

There was this little boy once upon a time, on a play date with two other little boys, one of whom was my (not so big) son. All sat around the table, munching and chattering away contently.

Watching them, suddenly became hilarious. This same little boy put a pea into his glass of water and announced it was now “Pea flavoured water”

(I was amazed at how clearly I understood him!)

On cue, the other boys laughed with him. I tried hard to contain and suppress my laughter, being amongst another parent.

Tonight… my little mischievous monkey could not resist trying to put peas into someone’s glass of orange squash. And there’s me, reminiscing the joke all over again.

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“Give peas a chance.”

😜

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Are You One?

Some people be sniffing the walls in Audiology!

Surdusphile.

Surdusphile.

Is someone who has a fetish, a deep obsession with deaf people, deaf culture, deaf devices, sign language, etc, etc.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Call 999

Could someone call the police for me please?

Thanks very much indeed!

Banana man has a little cut in his neck where the polystyrene balls are slowly seeping out…

“Quick! Recovery position, pressure on his neck and no giggles..” a friend exclaimed!

Another passerby stopped to stare at it, with her kids in tow who came running up to her to see what the matter was and she put her hands up in order to stop and protect them, shouting “Don’t touch it, don’t touch it!”

The poor thing….

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Bananaman has since died a happy man and gone towards the light.

“Life has sadly, knocked the stuffing out of him.“

Rest in peace.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

Speilinh Miesteaks.

 

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An ever growing collection of humourous spelling mistakes by friends and subtitles (captions), that has made me smile…

Litter rally – literally

A fish hunt – Efficient

Sue Denims – Pseudonym

Chiver (or kiver) – Shiver

Ser miz ing – Surmising

Ridged – Rigid

Curious a tee – Curiosity

Skeptickle – Sceptical

A tyre – Attire

Clicky – Cliche

Tents – Tense

Cock clear – Cochlear

Sizerz – Scissors

Perceeved – Perceived

Restbite – Respite

Super fish oil – Superficial

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😜

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

 

 

Air Karate Chops.

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Not long ago, I was cherishing a cuddle with baby when I suddenly felt something tickling my neck. It continued so I tried to feel what it was. Looked at my hand and there was this spider hogging my fingers. Shock horror!! 😱 Shook my hand in terror 👋🏼 and jumped up off the sofa, 🏃🏽‍♀️clinging onto baby for security and reassurance – she was oblivious and carefree, 💪🏼 the most courageous baby ever. Whereas, 😳 shame on me! 😩😩😩

Last night I was sleeping 😴… blissfully. I think! My hand felt a tickle… I woke up in alarm and did a karate chop in the air 👋🏼 to flick off any 8 legged crawlies that did NOT have my permission to be on or near my body….😤 Was it the very same spider haunting me or my hair? God only knows – I don’t want to know! 🤚🏼

Today… 😬😬😬😬… I had to grit my teeth every time I felt a tickle on my neck. No, nothing to attack the air with for my hair is now short enough to fool me, to tease me. 😓😓😓

Just one of the challenges of having ultra sensitive skin, heightened due to being hearing impaired.

Tip – check between your bedcovers before you go to bed and always, I mean always! turn your shoes upside down and shake before putting them on! 😜😜😜

I only started checking my footwear because I had seen on TV, a scorpion that sought warmth inside someone’s slippers. I have caught several spiders that way so it definitely works! A hearing friend once told me that they can hear whenever there is a spider inside their footwear for it goes pop… Urgh.

Last but not least, a friend of mine whose boyfriend was going to throw a spider he caught, over their balcony and she told him not to because he would kill it. To flush it down the toilet instead. There I sat, puzzled! Go figure.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

A Whole New Definition.

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Seeing people’s reactions as they learn when the baby was born is by far, amusing.

The best so far has to be my GP’s, who was surprised and said “Gosh! 😳 That puts a whole new definition on Christmas Day!”

The look on the postman’s face as he found out when the baby was born was absolutely priceless! His jaw dropped and said “No way?!” I’m like, “Yes way!” 😝

“What a day to be born on!” as a friend exclaimed.

To be continued, of course…

~ SJ (Sara Jae)

The Size Of A…

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Oh My Days!

I changed  a channel to channel 5 but caught the last few minutes of the 6pm news.

A guy talks about this headgear and how it’s connected to his mobile phone which 20 years ago.. wait for it! The live SUBTITLES said…. “was the size of a prick.”

Ahem. Brick you meant. 😳😳😳🙈

~SJ (Sara Jae)

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Photo by SJ.

Excusez Moi?!

Apparently, if you tend to go out shopping, it is now considered the “old fashioned way”…IMG_0581.JPG

Excusez moi?! We aren’t old… Yet!

Shopping online is the thing these days, ordering food and clothes even. Teenagers and young adults especially, to try on clothes within the comfort of their homes and armed with the knowledge that they can post any unwanted items back because it is within their consumers rights. But, how boring?

I am most certainly sticking to “going shopping” because I consider it to be THE precious form of retail therapy.

Thank you very much.

~ SJ (Sara Jae)