Ever since I was a teenager, I have had this joke pinned up on my bedroom door, of which I very much find rather humorous.
“An Italian Abroad,
One day I go abroad to bigga hotel. Inna morning I go down to eata breakfast. I tella waitress I wan two pissas toast. She brings only one piss. I tella I wan two piss. She say go toilet. I say you no understand, I wan to piss on ma plate. She say you betta no pissa onna plate you dirty sonna bitch. I donna even know lady and she call me sonna bitch.
Later I go to café. The waitress brings me knife but no fock. I tella I wan fock. She say everyone wan fock. I say you no understand, I wanna fock on table. She say you betta no fock on table you dirty sonna bitch. I fed up so I go back to hotel to sleep.
At hotel I find no shets on bed. I call manager and tella him I wanna shet on bed. He say you betta no shet on bed you dirty sonna bitch. I go to reception and man say ‘Pease on you’ I say piss on you too farter of bitch.
I gonna back to Italy, pronto!”